That’s how many birthdays I’ve had.

I’ve decided to set it as a goal to reach age 144.   There are several ways in which I could accomplish that feat:

1. The simplest trick to living that long is, as Garbage sings, to keep breathing. Everyone who died before age 144 stopped breathing. That was obviously a mistake if they were trying to get to 144.   I’ll just keep breathing until I’m 144. Problem solved.   At an average of about 4 seconds per breath, I only need to breathe 788,400,000 more times, give or take a few million.
2. Of course, all that breathing could become tiresome.   So I might want to find a way to shorten the amount of time I have to breathe, such as increasing the gravitational pull between the Earth and the Sun so the Earth moves into a closer orbit around the Sun.   That would make each year shorter, allowing me to get to 144 faster.
3. Unfortunately, moving the Earth closer to the sun would result in real global warming, and while that might be worth it due to the known benefits of a warmer climate, there would probably be a lot of complaints.   Plus it would affect everyone on earth, not just me, and some people would object to their ages going up faster.   So it’s probably better to go with something that would affect fewer people, such as relativistic space travel.   If I set out three years from now toward HD 211415 A, a star very much like our sun, at a constant acceleration of one gravity halfway there and a constant deceleration the rest of the way, spent several months there and then returned to Earth, I could arrive back in time to celebrate my 144th birthday – but thanks to time dilation, to me the 97-year round trip would only seem to take about twenty-five years. (Thank you “Space Math – Resources for Science Fiction Writers”!)
4. But given the current budget deficit, it’s unlikely we’ll be building any starships within the next three years, so that option’s probably out. But there are still other possibilities, such as: Cryogenic freezing.
5. Keeping my brain alive inside younger clone body (or a jar).
6. Telomere-reducing nanobots.

I’m open to suggestions for other methods.   And you’re all invited to my fourteenty-fourth birthday party, if you’re still around.