All month long a variety of pressing blog-post topics have been turning over in my mind. Last month I had an entire post written in my head the very day after I wrote about hair. “Ah, but I don’t post for another month,” I said. Then the end of September suddenly became the end of October and all the deep thoughts and pithy phrases evaporated. This morning as I read a reminder in my inbox that I am on the schedule for October 29–hey, that’s today!–I realized I no longer even recall the topic about which I felt so compelled to write.
So today you get a sampling of what’s been rolling through my head. Take your pick:
Tomorrow is our Primary program. I realize people have mixed feelings about this annual event, but I have to say I love it. I love the spontaneity that seems to pop up in even the most well-rehearsed program. I wrote ours this year. That stresses out some people, but not me so much. Mostly because I don’t care if it’s perfect. I want the children to be themselves. I love the little girl who intermittently belts out the words she remembers and then gets all pianissimo over the phrases she forgets. I love the kids who ad lib when they forget the rest of their lines (improv is great!). This year’s highlights include one of our Sunbeams sharing in her own words how she felt the day she went to the temple to be sealed to her little sister, who was adopted and a bunch of our CTR 7 boys telling about how to prepare to be missionaries while looking very missionary-like themselves in their own little suits and ties. Also, I may or may not have encouraged one of our older boys who is moving on to Young Men this week to drop the words “zombie apocalypse” into his talk about how the scriptures teach us all things we should do. We have practice in two minutes. We’ll see how it goes.
My husband texted me this morning and informed me that for the second week in a row, his deer hunt has been frustrated by his truck breaking down. We need a new (new-to-us, we never buy new new) truck. Our two trucks–yes, we have two, mostly because in our house we tend to buy used cars now and then to help out people who need money and because we are too busy to sell things when they die–are both 1985s. Like me, they’ve seen better days. We also need a new roof and a new furnace. Sometimes I consider our ages, our combined educations, and how long and how hard we’ve worked, and wonder why we still can’t afford to just run out and buy things we need. Yes, I do realize that we are living better than the majority of the rest of the world. But still I wonder. And worry. A friend of mine recently mentioned how the money we do have is a stewardship, likening it to the parable of the talents. I know she meant to be encouraging, but I felt like an unprofitable servant in that regard. At the same time, my husband is a very loving and much-loved third-grade teacher. As one friend put it, his specialty is self-esteem. I hope that kind of talent is building a less run-down kingdom in heaven than our temporal “castle” here on the earth. Then again, I’m thankful to have a roof–albeit a leaky one–over my head and a furnace that usually works well enough to prevent frostbite.
Finally, I am also grateful for peace. I’ll spare you the details, but I have wounds and worries just like the next girl. They can use me up, tear me up and make me sick inside. Sometimes I try to distract myself from them, but I know such distractions are just superficial and temporary. This week, however, I have noticeably been blessed with a new calm, a certain comfort and peace that is almost tangible. I recognize it comes from above and not from within. It’s so strong it makes me wonder who is praying for me so hard that I get to receive this blessing at this time. Or perhaps it is in answer to my own prayers. I’ve been praying for charity, which “suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (Moroni 7:45) I want and need to be able to bear, believe, hope and endure all things. At least for the moment, it seems possible.
In any case, I’d like to say this out loud: “Thanks, I needed that.” I hope it lingers and carries me for a bit longer.
How about you? What’s on your mind?
Post Edit:
I feel the need to clarify. I said “I wrote the program.” But the truth is the very best parts of the program did not come from me. They were born of inspiration. Receiving that inspiration and knowing from whence it came was the best part of putting it together this year.
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