Last September, a new initiative called Out in the Light was launched to help women who are affected by a pornography addiction of a spouse or loved one.

Rachelle Call was one of the women featured in the documentary that kicked off this initiative. She’s created recovery music to capture what she’s learned (see music player below).

Rachelle says:

God is all about recovery…. If you knew my story, you would know that God is a god of miracles. There is not one reason why things should have worked out for me and my husband of 15 years. We were dead in the water. But God restored us. He raised me and my family from the dead — and I am not kidding about that. God can do anything. He can restore anyone. The Atonement is real and it heals.

But those lessons were only learned after some dark and difficult times. As she struggled against the depression that threatened to consume her, Rachelle found that music brought healing to her soul.

The darkness was so intense and I was desperate for relief. As I would get my kids to school in the morning, I noticed that every time I played my Gladys Knight and The Saints Unified Voices CD, the darkness would lift. I began to listen to uplifting music all day. I flooded my home with it and at night I played the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (CD) while I slept. I kept it on repeat every night for maybe a year. Good music was key for me and I do not believe I would have made it through that period in my life without it.

Rachelle remained in denial for a while about all the problems that her husband’s addiction and her own coping mechanisms were causing. She and her husband separated for a while, and during that time, she wrote the song, “By the River” which talks about staying close to the living water of God.

“If I stay close to this river, I’ll be fine,” she said. “If you don’t stay with me that’s your choice, but this is where you’ll find me, that’s where you’ll find me. I’ll always be here because I have to do that for myself.”

Her advice to others who are facing challenges like pornography addiction? “You have to get out of a system of denial and you need to come into the light.”

Listen to her song “By the River” below.