I live in a place that has a relatively nice winter climate. Consequently there is quite a large population of panhandlers (or hobos, as my kids prefer to call them). Usually they wait at freeway exits and stoplights with their handmade signs stating the reasons I should feel extra sorry for them (I’m a veteran! I’m a mom of two! I need fuel for my private jet!–yes, one sign actually said that. I love a good sense of humor). I usually give them a dollar. I don’t care if they are drug addicts or make a good living begging for money. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. As the scriptures say, are we not all beggars of the Lord? Don’t we all depend on Him for everything we have? So I’m not about to judge who is worthy of one measly dollar.
Last week I was driving downtown when I stopped at a verrrry long red light. As usual there was a guy wandering up and down the line of cars, looking for a handout. He was an older man missing several teeth and looking quite scraggly. He wore a nice Dallas Cowboys football jersey, some ratty pants and a cast on his leg (for show or not, I have no idea), but he kept pointing to it, I guess to emphasize his sad state. I rolled down my window and handed the guy a dollar. As he stuffed it in his pocket he slurred, “I’m not a bum. This is an $80 jersey, you know.”
Stop right there.
The only reason I was giving him money was because he is a bum. His pathetic state is why I opened my window and imparted my substance. I don’t just go around handing a dollar to everyone waiting at a corner after all.
I don’t have an $80 jersey.
In short, I kind of wanted my money back.
If someone is begging and they look very clean and their clothes are decent I’m a little hesitant to give them something. I figure they must not be as needy as someone with holes in their clothes and a matted beard. Basically, I want to feel like I’m Jennie the Hero not Jennie the Chump.
I guess I have just admitted that I have a double standard.
Like I said, I do almost always give them money. But sometimes there is more of a dialogue in my head than others (is he really a vet? Why doesn’t he get help from the government? He’s probably just a drunk. Who cares, though, it’s only a dollar.)
Some members of the church pay their tithing and figure that 10% is more than enough and they are done giving after that. Some people pay tithing as well as giving here and there if it’s for “a good cause”. I would like to think that I give more freely than that, but I probably don’t. I like to think that I give willingly, but honestly that’s not the case. Even if it’s begrudgingly at times, I still give. That’s the important thing, right? Right?
How important is the attitude of giving? Is it just about the substance? And how much giving is enough? Where and how do you draw the line?
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