From Alexander Pope, and often quoted by my grandmother:
“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
we first endure, then pity, then embrace.”
The point of the verse is that we can become too familiar with evil, so that it doesn’t seem evil to us anymore, but good. We go from hating vice on sight, to enduring it, to pitying it, to embracing it.
The use of the word “vice” is interesting here. It makes me think of the Seven Deadly Sins, also known as the Capitol Vices or Cardinal Sins: wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.
So according to Pope, we need to be on guard, watchful, lest we become complacent and permit the beginnings of wrath, or greed, or gluttony to turn into full-fledged indulgence.
I get what he’s saying, and I agree with it as it stands, treating vice as abstraction. The problem is the way that vice manifests itself in people, and this is where Pope’s lines get tricky: how often have I seen someone who manifests sloth, or lust, or greed, and felt Pope’s initial hatred and contempt? It seems to me that what we are actually called upon to do when interacting with others, as disciples of Christ, is just the opposite of what Pope says. If I notice that someone around me struggles with a particular vice, I need to say “Lord, remember my brethren in mercy, and have mercy on me, a sinner.” If it’s my job to minister to them, I need to do so without hatred (obviously) but also without contempt or even pity. I need to master the seeing eye-to-eye of charity, the embrace.
Case in point: On Facebook a couple of weeks ago someone mentioned seeing an obese person overindulging. There was some contempt (later tempered with pity) in the original comment, as well as in the following comments.
I was bothered by the level of contempt expressed. I look at someone who is more overweight than me and see myself, if I’m not more careful. I’m past hatred and endurance and pity; for me, there’s the embrace of knowing that I am capable of turning into that person, too. It’s within me. The fact that I am not there does not give me the right to feel contemptuous towards someone who is.
I can say that about gluttony; it’s a vice that hits home. But there are other sins I find far more despicable, and it’s harder for me to hold the dual perspective in my head: simultaneous revulsion towards the sin itself and also deep, honest charity for anyone who also faces that particular temptation. And yet no one, no one, changes when they feel defensive, and the best way to help people lose that defensiveness is to let them feel completely loved and accepted, and also give them a vision of who they are capable of becoming.
My stake president talks about the “smoke test:” when someone comes to Sacrament Meeting smelling of cigarette smoke, what’s your first response? “I’m so happy to see this person at church” is appropriate, as opposed to “What are they doing here?” I confess here that for me, this takes work: I need to override my first impressions to respond with charity and not contempt. I don’t have instant charity for people who struggle with different vices than I do. But I’m working on it. I’m realizing, more and more, that all of us are on the same path towards God, and it is our job to help those around us, to honor where they are at and help them with genuine, Christlike love.
Hate sin, absolutely. Go Alex Pope! But let go of disdain towards sinners; there is no place for contempt among those of one heart and one mind in Zion.
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