Buyer Be Noir

By Linda Hoffman Kimball

It was a dark and stormy afternoon. The Massachusetts air hung low and dense, tinged with the scent of the sea and punctuated occasionally by the brutal screams of sea gulls. Thunder rolled and the wipers beat, beat, beat their ominous tattoo on my rental car’s windshield. I approached the unfamiliar exit off the highway. I hoped this was the right place. The GPS indicated it was, and her message had been clear.

“Meet me in the parking lot of the Haverhill Target store at 5 pm. I’ll be in a black Jetta.” She’d didn’t give her name. All I knew was her email handle. This is how she wanted it. This was how it was done.

She’d have the goods. I had the fifty bucks.

The meeting place was as I thought – public, ubiquitous, nondescript. A perfect spot for such a transaction. No one would notice us.

I slowly navigated through the parking lot, my collar up, my senses alert. No black Jetta. I checked my watch. 4:45. I parked, went into the Target store. I bought some Metamucil, D batteries, a box of Market Pantry fruit snacks.

I walked out of the store, pulling my hood up to cover my head. The rain beat down harder. Stealing looks behind the protection of my hood, I put my purchases in the car and surveyed the parking lot.

Now there was a black car. At the end of the same lane I was parked in.

But was it a Jetta? Between my poor distance vision and the bad weather I couldn’t make out the model clearly from this distance. My raincoat snug over my hunched shoulders, I walked toward the car from the rear.

I didn’t approach too quickly or too closely. If it wasn’t the correct vehicle I might startle the person behind the wheel and draw attention to myself. Cautiously, my steps masked by the ominous winds and the clatter of shopping carts in the stalls, I got closer. And closer.

Yes, it was a Jetta. Again, not too close to the car, I homed in on the driver’s side.

The steamy window hummed down.

An attractive dark haired young woman asked from the driver’s seat, “Are you Christina’s mom?”

“Yes,” I said, going for my wallet.

“I have it in the trunk.”

“Fine,” I said.

I handed her the $50 and noticed a young child – asleep? – in the back seat. The driver clicked open the trunk and got out of the car. Peering with her into the trunk I saw two pitch black cases. She unzipped one and pulled out a couple bottles and some tubing.

“It comes with all this extra equipment. It’s like new and in great working condition. There’s a manual in the other case, and it’s pretty self-explanatory. I think your daughter will be happy with it.”

“Thanks,” I said.

The woman got back in her car and pulled out of the lot as I carried the cases to my car.

I got out my cell phone.

“Mission accomplished,” I said when I heard my daughter’s voice.

“Oh, good. Thanks, Mom. My milk just came in and getting this fancy new electric breast pump from Craig’s List couldn’t be timed better! I’ll see you in an hour.”

That’s the more or less accurate account of my first (and so far only) Craig’s List transaction. I loved the air of mystery, the complete anonymity, the bargain price! Tell me your adventures in Craig’s List shopping or other bartering, swapping, non-traditional acquisition stories. Are there tips or pitfalls to these kinds of exchanges? What have you learned/earned/bought or sold?

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