I copied this recipe from the Young Woman’s Journal of 1921, where it appears in one of those domestic features concerning balanced menus and recipes-every-woman-should-know. I fully intended at least to prepare this dish – out of solidarity with my sisters of nearly a century ago, doncha know – and describe for you the experience; whether I could have eaten it, or instead would have offered it to my cat, is a question I had not resolved when I copied it.

But no. I just can’t. I will devein a shrimp, but any recipe that involves arteries and clotted blood is beyond me. And thus we see the limit of my willingness to serve you, dear reader. Alas.

In case there are those among you who actually like these things, I present for your enjoyment this authentic recipe for a genuine, thrifty, old-time Mormon main dish that some of our grandmothers may have learned to prepare in Mutual. Your next Young Women’s activity, anyone?

Braized Heart with Dressing

Wash a calf’s heart, remove the veins, arteries, and clotted blood; stuff with bread dressing:

3/4 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup stock or hot water
1 tsp. ground sage
1 tblsp. finely chopped onion
1 tsp. chopped red pepper
1 tsp. salt

and sew together at the top. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, roll in flour and brown in hot fat; place in a small deep baking pan, fill the pan half full of boiling water, cover closely, and bake slowly 2 hours, basting every 15 minutes. It may be necessary to add more water. Remove the heart from the pan and thicken the liquor with flour mixed to a thin paste with cold water, using 2 tblsp. flour for every cup of liquid. Season with salt and pepper and pour around the heart before serving.

(Abbreviations and recipe format modernized somewhat, but otherwise unchanged)

(Title pun deliberate. Not funny, just deliberate)