Recently I was doing some Christmas shopping in the toy section at a department store. A two-year-old girl was riding a tricycle that she found in the nearby bike isle. Her mom had finished shopping for toys and was ready to leave.
The mother told her daughter to get off the bike. The girl did not want to get off; she was having too much fun. The mom calmly told her to get off a couple more times, but the girl would not. Then the mom told her daughter that if she did not get off the bike, the sales associate who was coming down the isle would get mad at her because she was on the bike. (The sales associate did not hear the mom’s warning, nor did the associate care that the child was on the bike.) When the associate got closer the girl screamed, got off the bike, and ran to her mom. Mission accomplished for mom.
I applaud the mother’s patience; she calmly asked her child to get off the bike at least 2-3 times. But I am not sure that I can applaud her for creating a false fear to get her child off the bike.
Have you seen this sort of thing before? I think the worst example is when parents tell their kids that the cops are going to get them if they do not obey, particularly when the cops could not care less about the kids’ disobedience. Such idle threats create an irrational fear toward police officers. Children should view police as people who protect and help, not people who punish kids for being disobedient toward their parents. I am sure police officers don’t want parents telling their kids things like: “You better get off the swing and into the mini van before that policeman comes over here and arrests you.”
Generally speaking, I think it is wrong to create an irrational fear in kids. As Nephi teaches in the Book of Mormon, young children have tender hearts and minds. While creating a little irrational fear may not seem like a big deal to adults, to a child it may be a big deal. That is why, as a parent, I avoid creating irrational fear in my kids to promote obedience, but it sure gets tricky around Christmas time.
My guess is that most parents have used the old “You better be good or you might get nothing from Santa" at Christmastime. Just last week when my oldest daughter was being disobedient, I started singing the familiar tune, “I’m getting nothing for Christmas, ‘cause I have been nothing but bad.” She got the message, in an indirect sort of way.
The problem is that when we say it, we never mean it. Kids always get gifts from Santa, even if they’ve been horrible! So does that make “you better be good or you’re getting nothing for Christmas” an idle threat that may induce irrational fear?
The mother told her daughter to get off the bike. The girl did not want to get off; she was having too much fun. The mom calmly told her to get off a couple more times, but the girl would not. Then the mom told her daughter that if she did not get off the bike, the sales associate who was coming down the isle would get mad at her because she was on the bike. (The sales associate did not hear the mom’s warning, nor did the associate care that the child was on the bike.) When the associate got closer the girl screamed, got off the bike, and ran to her mom. Mission accomplished for mom.
I applaud the mother’s patience; she calmly asked her child to get off the bike at least 2-3 times. But I am not sure that I can applaud her for creating a false fear to get her child off the bike.
Have you seen this sort of thing before? I think the worst example is when parents tell their kids that the cops are going to get them if they do not obey, particularly when the cops could not care less about the kids’ disobedience. Such idle threats create an irrational fear toward police officers. Children should view police as people who protect and help, not people who punish kids for being disobedient toward their parents. I am sure police officers don’t want parents telling their kids things like: “You better get off the swing and into the mini van before that policeman comes over here and arrests you.”
Generally speaking, I think it is wrong to create an irrational fear in kids. As Nephi teaches in the Book of Mormon, young children have tender hearts and minds. While creating a little irrational fear may not seem like a big deal to adults, to a child it may be a big deal. That is why, as a parent, I avoid creating irrational fear in my kids to promote obedience, but it sure gets tricky around Christmas time.
My guess is that most parents have used the old “You better be good or you might get nothing from Santa" at Christmastime. Just last week when my oldest daughter was being disobedient, I started singing the familiar tune, “I’m getting nothing for Christmas, ‘cause I have been nothing but bad.” She got the message, in an indirect sort of way.
The problem is that when we say it, we never mean it. Kids always get gifts from Santa, even if they’ve been horrible! So does that make “you better be good or you’re getting nothing for Christmas” an idle threat that may induce irrational fear?
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