Everything in my life has been focused around becoming a dad. I studied everything possible in school so I could teach my future children. I tried to develop traits that I thought would help me be a better father and husband. And when I entered the dating world, I looked for someone who could complement me - someone who would be able to help me raise a righteous family and make a difference in the fabric of history.
As I said, my greatest fear is tied to it - fear that it won't happen in this life. That I won't ever fall in love with a girl. That it won't ever be the right option. That the words promising the opportunity to be a father in my patriarchal blessing, even though they say, "In this life," might be symbolic instead of concrete.
As I've learned about people around the globe, I've come to a realization. Deep inside each of us, we are all the same. It doesn't matter if we call ourselves gay, straight, Mormon, Muslim, American, African, or anything else; many of us have the same wishes, hopes, and dreams. We want to be loved and accepted by people who understand us. We want to have a family and help our children grow and live better lives than we do. We want to make a difference in the world and understand our purpose in life.
The gospel, the Atonement, and our eternal nature tie us together here on Earth. We all want to return to God someday. And He has given us the tools to make it back to Him. It won't be easy. This may be the hardest trial I ever face in all of eternity (knock on wood: sometimes the Lord is really creative...). But it's worth it. And it's possible. And that knowledge turns my fear back into faith: faith that God will answer my prayers. He will bless me. He will give me the strength to do what is right. And He will help me to make my dreams come true. Someday I'll be a dad, and be able to raise my children to love and live the truth. Maybe it will be soon. And maybe it will be in eternity. Either way, I still hope, believe, and dream.
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