The FAIR Blog tackles the allegation that the Church breaks up families by exploring some details of one ex-member who at least partly blames his divorce on the Church. I've been close to enough people going through divorce and marital problems to be highly suspicious of either party blaming any church, religion, employer, club, friend, or sport for the failure of their marriage. They may be right, but I often find that issues closer to home might be more important.

If someone struggles with their faith, they need patience and support. If they cannot accept the Church anymore, I hope that they can also be treated with patience and love. When that person goes beyond just lack of faith into active violation of the principles that were part of the common foundation for that marriage--for example, deciding that it's OK to go off to questionable parties and drink alcoholic beverages, or taking up tobacco--the sense of betrayal would seem to me to be higher.

I have seen many some examples of loving support of an LDS spouse by a non-believer who was never LDS, but has been understanding and helpful. Some of these men and women eventually accept the faith, though many do not. Some come to Church patiently with their spouse and provide help in numerous ways. I think of the example of one of the most loving men I know, a Jewish man who attended Church with his sweet wife for years and endured many lessons on Jesus Christ and several efforts from well-meaning Mormons to convert him. (In his case, he surprised and delighted us all after he moved away and decided to be baptized as a result of his own personal spiritual journey. He's now officially a fellow Latter-day Saint, though he always seemed that way.)

I would hope that those who lose faith for whatever reason will not lose sight of the feelings and needs of their spouse, and continue the courtship through regular dates and even going to church, and always respecting the standards of the Church as much as possible. Even if you conclude that there is no God and that, in theory, it's now perfectly fine to smoke, drink, swear, and leave the toilet seat up, I think you would be wise and your marriage will be stronger if you remain as faithful as possible to the standards you had already agreed to live when you said "I do."

Being faithful to the behaviors that were expected of you when you wed would seem like a loving and courteous thing to do, even when the faithful behaviors are no longer propped up by a vibrant faith.

Please note: I'm not saying divorce is justified when someone rejects the Church and refuses to participate, or takes up social drinking or other behaviors in tension with LDS faith. I prefer to see people work things through and deal with changes and differences with mutual love and respect. I am saying that your love and respect for your spouse ought to lead you to be very cautious about doing things that depart from the agreed-upon rules for your marriage and that would hinder your spouse's religious life.

Religion matters in marriage. It's an issue that young couples should discuss carefully before tying the knot so they understand what they are getting into and what is expected of one another, especially when children will be raised. Respect for your spouse's religion should be high on your priority list, even if you personally lose respect for that religion for whatever reason.
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