Same-sex attraction isn't the only major issue that I battle on a daily basis. In fact, for most of the day in most of my life it doesn't even occur to me. It doesn't put stumbling blocks in my ability to create meaningful relationships with acquaintances or friends and it doesn't color how other people think of me. And, in most cases, it (along with everything else that came with it) helps when I try to empathize with others. When I look at my daily struggle, in most instances, being attracted to guys definitely takes a sideline role to other, more pressing factors.
The biggest weakness I have was elaborated by President Uchtdorf in General Conference - on his recap of the famous talk, "Beware of Pride." ...and it's something that I'm working on. I loved his talk, and wrote dozens of things that I need to implement in my life. But it's a constant struggle... and I often wonder if I am totally losing the battle.
Every day I feel like I've been overly blessed. I look at the perspective that the gospel has given me, my family, friends, and opportunities in life, and I think that life is wonderful. But alone, of myself... without God to stand by me? I would be nothing. Really. All my blessings come from God. He is the One who saves me and lifts me up. And the message I share here isn't really mine, but His. Sometimes I'm not very good at communicating that. I'm still learning how to share it in a way that everyone else can understand.
The reason why I choose this subject is because every recent negative comment has been based on the commenter feeling that something in my blog was arrogant or proud. Mentioning that my companions and I were successful in the mission. Talking about my ability to overcome weaknesses. Inviting people to share their own success stories.
One commenter was right when he mentioned that, of all the comments, the negative ones stick most. I don't think that is a bad thing - negative comments always contain something worthwhile. They're always sincere, and heartfelt from people who read a post and truly felt the way they did... and reading them and praying for guidance helps me to see the areas where I can improve.
So I'd like to apologize. When I say anything at all that seems proud or arrogant or whatever, please tell me. I'll probably change it, and your comments will help me be a better person. I'm sorry for anything I've written that displays any of those feelings. And for those of you I've turned away, I hope that I can regain your trust.
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