I'm not sure if it's falling in love, or having the feeling that someone might be a good fit, or something else. But, at least from the outside, it looks pretty amazing. I guess it must be an amazing thing to fall in love.
A few times in the past two weeks I've been in the middle of a conversation with a girl and realized, from the above described sudden preponderance of body language and verbal cues, that she really wanted me to ask her out. Part of me is more than willing in each case - I'm not dating anyone right now, and I love spending time with them - but it's never really that simple. Yes, one of them might end up being the girl I fall in love with... but even a semi-romantic relationship with a guy who is (as one reader tried to negatively put it) obsessed with the gospel and also not attracted to girls is much more complicated than your normal schoolboy crush. To complicate matters further, in each case, there is another guy... who is unsuccessfully trying to get the girl's attention. Unsuccessfully because as he asks her out, and she courteously says yes, she looks at me as if wanting to be rescued.
Most of the time I find girls to date based on their interest in me. I think girls are much better judges of character and match anyway. Other times, occasionally, the Lord will tell me exactly who I should ask out, and then sometimes I play point-and-call with the ward directory.
If I figure out that a girl is interested in me, I try to help her realize that I'm an intense person before asking her out. We have a handful of conversations and I openly share my difficulty in developing relationships. Then, if she is still obviously interested, I give it a try.
In the past, whenever there was a guy involved, I've always ducked out. I've never been in love with or felt anything romantic towards a girl... and if there are no sparks by the time real competition arises, then I really have no right competing. But those guys were more seriously involved in their relationships than the ones I know now; I was the one challenging what was already a functional relationship,
not the favored suitor before the first date. So what about in the early stages? What about the time when neither I nor she is really sure if it will work out, but we want to try anyway? If there were no other guys involved, the answer would be simple. But when guys I count as friends are on the other side, I find myself wondering if I should even try courting the girl they want.
But you know what? The only way I'm going to find my future love is to actively search for her, and I have a right and responsibility to date as much as the next guy. I enjoy dating. And just because I date a girl doesn't mean she can't date another guy - I've never been an exclusive dater by any means. It also doesn't need to stress our (the guys') relationship.
So there's my answer. I'll ask them out. And maybe the miracle will come and I'll finally know what it's like to be falling in love with a girl who is falling in love with me.
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