The process by which I decided to divorce my husband was a life-altering one. Up until that time, I had, piece by piece, sacrificed everything of myself on the altar of marriage. To take all of that and sacrifice the marriage itself was difficult. The Spirit and I wrestled many nights over that decision. The Lord taught me slowly but surely that He was asking of me a sacrifice not unlike Abraham's when he was called to sacrifice his son, Isaac.

Since then, I have weathered other betrayals, predominantly by those in the Church. My attempts to sacrifice my pride and anger has lead to others discounting me, disbelieving me, and ignoring me. These betrayals are small but devastating aftershocks.

This morning, I realized that the divorce was only the beginning of my Abrahamic test.

Some tests, like Abraham's, are an event. One decision. Some people are delivered from following through with their test, as Abraham was. But sometimes the test is more subtle over a longer period of time. Sometimes you really have to make the sacrifice.

There is one thing every test has in common. You are always called upon to decide what is most important in your life. Is it resentment towards other people that might cause you to become bitter, angry, or no longer attend Church? Is it grief over your loss that you wrap around yourself like an invisibility cloak? Or is service to God, is discipleship, more important than even your own pain?

Each time I have been disappointed by my fellow Saints or by life in general, I have clearly seen a choice of two paths. I can let this turn me away from the Church, or I can choose to learn from my experience and become even more devoted to my Savior. I can gain a greater desire to serve God's children, to not be one of those so embroiled in my own life that I don't notice when someone needs me.

So for me, the sacrifice truly is everything, especially myself. The test is whether or not I will choose to still love even after the sacrifice.
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