Words of affirmation really don't do that much for me... I had a reader who was really, honestly concerned for my emotional and spiritual wellbeing because I get so many "you are amazing" comments here on (Gay) Mormon Guy. He was concerned that it was getting to my head... and that I was "breathing in" the fumes, as President Uchtdorf humorously put in his talk on pride. But, as much as I try to appreciate sincere compliments and praise in my life, words of affirmation from other people usually don't have much effect. I mean, you're welcome to compliment me on whatever, but I'll probably forget about ten seconds later. And if I'm depressed, getting a hundred "you're amazing" comments doesn't do anything. I'm not good at making affirmative remarks either; I have to consciously make an effort to remember tell my date she looks nice, or to even give a coworker a compliment on a job well done.
At the same time though, I take every discouraging remark that comes my way personally - and I treat sarcasm as if it were an honest opinion. I may not remember what people said that was nice, but I can remember what they said that wasn't forever. While the words can't really hurt me, comments can turn my life upside down as I try to understand their perspective and what I need to change in order to become better. An example - once someone called me a liar, to my face, and told me I didn't care about others. They were angry and didn't understand all the information, but I still remember standing there, wondering what I had done wrong to merit the tirade I received... and wondering what I needed to do to fix myself in the future. I don't ever hold grudges against or judge people; I just believe that in every comment ever voiced or written - sincere or sarcastic - there is at least a grain of truth... and I try to find it.
Receiving: Mediocre. I'm getting better - I can tell when people are trying to show their love through sincere praise or compliments. And even though I don't feel much from the comment itself, I appreciate that they are willing to take the time to share their thoughts with me.
Giving: Mediocre. Unless I am actively trying to lift someone who's depressed, I don't often affirm the good things they do, or even affirm their character. But I'm getting better - complimenting others, letting them know that I esteem and support them, and especially saying thank you to the people who make a difference in my life.
Different with guys? No. For me, compliments from or to guys are just the same as to or from girls.
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