Sometimes when I was little I would have smiling contests with myself. I would grin as hard as I could until the sides of my mouth hurt and I could taste the burn in my cheeks. I'm sure I looked absurd with a massive grin plastered on my face (it was often during Primary at Church), but, as I smiled, I found myself wanting to smile even more - happy for life and all its majesties.

And so it is right now. I look at everything in my life - and from the outside it could be really easy to say that life is hard, or unpredictable, or just not ideal. My social life is in disarray, as is my professional and every other facet of life. And I smile. I wouldn't change anything. I love who I am, the things I've learned, the relationship I have with my God. Life is great. Today was great, tomorrow will be great, and so will every day be great after that.

God loves me. He answers my prayers. And while in the world's eyes I will probably always be a gay Mormon guy, in my eyes, and in His, I am His son.

Men are that they might have joy.

True joy is possible, even when my dreams are on hold, the storm is raging, and the world is turned against me. 

So I smile.
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