(I wouldn't actually send a letter. Even though I write well, my parents are verbal people... and they have the important ability of being able to listen even when they're confused or frustrated or lost - a rare trait in parents or children these days. With some people, writing leaves distance from difficult situations... but I've found it works much better to sit down and talk with them in person...)
Dear Mom and Dad,
I have something to tell you... something pretty serious. Yeah, you'll want to sit down. Close the door.
I've mentioned a few times about a blog I write and how it has helped me have an impact on the world. It has been amazing - I've had the daily opportunity to touch people's lives and help them find the faith to avert suicide, fix broken marriages, and pursue lifelong dreams. I started it almost a year ago. You've never read the blog... it's actually anonymous... and it shares how I live the gospel as part of my daily life... a rare insight to a side of me that I don't share with anyone else. It's a story of pain, of suffering, but also of hope, of love, and of faith and hope and trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises.
The topic is... well, I've lived for as long as I can remember with same-gender attraction. I share the gospel through that lens. I don't expect you to understand or know anything about what I'm going through... or even what you should do or not do. There are just a few things I want you to know.
I'm clean. I'm worthy of a temple recommend and plan for that always to be the case, no matter what the cost or what I have to give up.
This isn't who I am. It's not an eternal part of me. But it's something I face today, and have faced for years.
I support everything that the Brethren teach, and I feel like I understand most of what they teach in the actual context they intended. I don't express or support anything contrary to Church doctrine or policies.
Don't treat me differently. Don't expect anything less of me, or more of another, just because I live with this in life. In my Patriarchal Blessing, it promises that I'll fall in love with a girl, be sealed to her in the temple and have children in this life... and while it will take a miracle for that to happen, I believe in miracles. I believe that it'll happen to me, if I'm doing everything I need to do on my part.
Never tell anyone. Never allude to it in conversation. Don't bring it up with me unless you feel the absolute need, and never with anyone else. You can read my blog... just Google "Mormon Guy" and it will be the first hit... but realize that my anonymity needs to be intact... because the Lord has asked me to keep it that way. He told me never to tell anyone... and so the only times I've ever told anyone was when He told me to.
And so that's why I'm telling you - because He told me to. I wasn't ever planning to tell you. I wasn't ever planning to tell anyone, and then that all changed with my blog, when I realized that I had something that others needed - the perspective and faith and hope and peace and joy the gospel brings in everyday life, no matter what trials we face.
As far as what you can do to help me, keep me in your prayers... and when you try to help me in any way, look to the Lord for guidance. The answer isn't going to come from something simple or straightforward; otherwise, we would have already figured it out - it will come as a miracle, as we look to God and follow His promptings, no matter what they are.
I love you... and someday I want my own children to trust me enough to come to me with their problems... hopefully sooner than later... and I wanted you to at least have the vestiges of understanding.
It'll be okay. I'll be okay. The Lord has made amazing promises to me and all His children, if we keep His commandments... and I'm doing that. He will bless me, and it will all work out in the end, and today, for the best.
Mormon Guy
(As the top parentheses explained, this is not a coming out letter. It's just the information I would want my parents to know... and what I would want to know if my own future son struggled with this same issue.)
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