Here are more notes from Education Week...  We're having a blast and getting ourselves thoroughly tired in the most educational way!

“I am perfectly satisfied that my Father and my God is a cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured Being.  Why? Because I am cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured when I have his spirit.”  (President Hever C. Kimball)

Get a good collection of humor and learn how to use it.

Earnest L. Wilkinson’s supposedly iron rule of BYU.  Supposedly he wrote the books  “Free agency and how to enforce it”   “I the people”

Using scripture quotations in interesting contexts

Wilkinson wouldn’t let the students go on thanksgiving break on Wednesday.

Paper banner wrapped all around his house saying, “Pharoah, let my people go!”

Presidents of the Church and their humor

President Hinckley

Sign on the SL temple wall for forgetful sealers: “Sealings are not to last more than 30 minutes.”  Hinckley says, “Oh! I thought they were supposed to be for eternity!”

He says, “Purple?  Purple chairs in the temple?”  [everyone holds their breath] “I like it!”

A friend tells Sister Hinckley that she looks very well preserved and her husband looks even better.  Sister Hinckley says, “If I had 12 million people praying for me everyday, I’d look like him!”

President Monson

Subscribes to a magazine that he’s not interested in except for the joke page

The eleventh command—thou shalt not take thyself too seriously  -- Elder Clark

Request free PDF of Barry J Ewell’s book “15 Lesson Tips,”

Dj57barry@gmail.com  Subject line: BYU2013 

Each of us is to compile his or her life history and keep a book of remembrance

No work is more spiritually refining or gives us more power

Requires a high standard of righteousness

Our labors cover us with a shield and a protection both individually and as a people.

Genealogy has two sides – research and temple work.  When we complete both sides, Heavenly Father promises everything that He has.

The blessing also covers our children and grandchildren.

2 Nephi 32:9  Don’t perform anything without praying to the Lord so that the performance will be for the welfare of your soul

VERIFY data you receive from others.

Ewell learned this lesson the hard way.  Received a pedigree chart for a Christmas gift and did 4 or 5 generations of research.  He expected he was meeting a cousin, but she wasn’t sure.  They verified and there was no connection.

How do we receive genealogy data?  CDs, family myths and legends, Passing along unconfirmed facts,  information from a family member’s program database, reading a published genealogy or transcription of previously published data (where did that info come from?), genealogy found online in family websites and/or organized databases.

We prepare the work for the next generation.

Five process of how to verify sources

1)   Look for source citations and references – Often noted as footnotes at the bottom of the page or at the end of the publication.  These sources can be searched.  Take 2-4% and try to find the actual source and confirm how accurate it was copied correctly, checking direct lines.  Searching with fresh eyes.  Was anything missed? Can find more individuals this way.

Click on the link to “about this database” when searching a public database.  They include sources for most of their databases.

Email the contributor of the data.

Researchers are wary of publishing sources.  They are afraid others will “steal” the credit of their hard-earned research, but may be willing to share them with you privately.

Message boards are a place where gen. get together to talk about family. Request sources.  Ask for Gedcoms and sources.

2)   Track down the referenced source

What if the source is a genealogy or history book?  Find a library in the associated location that has a copy and is willing to photocopy pages and sources

What if digital images not included?   Track down a listed source for the document?

What if the source is a microfilm record?  Listed records can be borrowed and viewed through local family history center.  Not all the info from the record is transcribed

What to do if the source is an online database or website?   See if you can track down a listed source for that site’s information

3)   Search for a possible source

What kind of document might it come from?  What kind of documents exist that would give this kind of info?

4)   Evaluate the source

Is the data primary or secondary?  Primary documents are recorded at the time of the event (marriage, birth, death, letters, business, )  Some info on those documents are secondary because it is someone else’s recollection

Secondary evidence – histories, published works, tombstones, census, transcriptions of local records, most info on the internet (copied, transcribed, summarized)

Growing number of databases provide scanned copies of the document

Primary documents have more weight.

Photocopies of documents are primary

5)   Resolve conflicts

What if there is conflict between data? 

Family Bible entries may have been made at one sitting rather than at the time of the actual events.  If handwriting is different, it is pretty good.

Tombstones and birth records may be done later.

Documents may have additions, different handwriting may indicate that.

What do other sources say about it?

Document your research as you go. It is our chance to make it right.

If you can’t prove it, it is an opinion. 

Create a log.  They help you know where you left off. It tells where you got the info.  You can retrace your clues or points to additional information.  Prevents duplicated research. Prevent déjà vu.

Documentation establishes credibility.

Write everything down while you still have the source in your hands.  Do it right the first time.

Write legibly.  Write so you and others can read it.  Try to get a photocopy or photo

Source citations – author, title, publication facts, page number. 

A census record that says they owned land can tell you there will be a land record you can acquire in that area.

Check multiple sources – consider it multiple witnesses in a court case.  2 witnesses is better than 1.  The more witnesses, the better.

Events create documents.  A death created 8 documents.  Cemetery, mortuary, hospital, funeral, obituary, death cert., etc.

Hit a brick wall?  Be patient and persistent.

Think like a historian.  Follow the paper trail.  Also step back and look at the community. What groups did he belong to in the community?

You’re trying to understand what your ancestors did and why?  You become aware of clues that lead you to find your ancestors.  Find groups researching the same group, like church groups and ask for what they know about the group.

Identify gaps and what you want to know.

Families and groups are moving together, which can help you find lost individual that seems to disappear.  Research others living the same area.

Talk to your family NOW!   Oral histories are important.  Get to the oldest people.

Oral histories close generation gaps

Don’t wait until a relative passes.  Get over your issues with your family!

How do we prevent contention?  How to become a peacemaker

People watching of interactions – grocery store, work, college football games, children’s sporting events, church, etc.

Watch the savior and how he interacted with people in could-be-contentious situations

Moroni 7:3-4  (Mormon talking) to you peaceable followers of Christ, I judge these things because of your peaceable walk with the children of men.  Mormon can tell based upon relationships with other people what their relationship with God is.

Develop the relationship with God to become a peacemaker

When he is ornery, his wife asks him “Do you need a little Book of Mormon time?”

Matthew 17:24  “Notwithstanding, lest we should offend them…”   (about the tribute money for the temple)

What does Christ teach in this circumstance?

Even if you are free to act, sometimes you don’t so that you don’t offend others.

Even if we have rights, sometimes we don’t insist on them.

Sometimes insisting on rights causes rights

Story of the children using parents’ toothbrushes “I HAVE THE RIGHT TO A CLEAN TOOTHBRUSH!”  “Try explaining that to the 1-year-old and the 3-year-old.”  Just get new toothbrushes.

Point out those who make peace with others.

Becoming a stumbling block

1 Cor 8:9  eating the idolatrous meat

modern issue – Do we drink Coke?

Paul -- Don’t get into the argument.  Be kind and generous.  Sometimes we have to be charitable rather than knowledgeable

John 6:61-66  Doctrine and standards  -- Jesus teaches he is the bread of life and many are offended.  Doctrine will offend the whole world and we’re okay with THAT. 

Playing catch on Sundays with son to getting him to talk.  Neighbor thinks you’re breaking the Sabbath.  Go to the backyard.  You don’t want to put a stumbling block in front of your neighbor.

Don’t be guilty of the first or the second offense.  This means that mistakes are smoothed out, and annoying reactions are smoothed out. Just let it go.

What did Christ say about his purpose? What is our purpose?

Look in Alma 43-63 looking for principles of avoiding conflict and contention

Luke 9:51-56  Christ went through Samaria even though many Jews wouldn’t. 

The people in Samaria saw he was going to Jerusalem and they wouldn’t let him stay there. (moment of decision when the offense is.  James and John wanted him to command fire from heaven to consume them)

“ye know not what spirit ye are of”

 Jesus went to a different village instead.

When we take offense, our judgments become unjust.  We can’t make good decisions when our egos are involved.

Be careful listening to anyone else’s judgments who are offended.  Remember, contention is contagious.

We build our walls when we’re offended and because of our walls, we can’t see what we’re doing to people on the other side.

V56 the son of man is not come to destroy men but to save them

No wavering on doctrine

Alma 8:11-13 Alma taught the truth and it offended people

Daniel 1,3,5 Daniel and his friends kept standards and offended the king.

“…skillful peacemakers who calm troubled waters before harm is done” (Eyring)

Revelation

Humilty

Speak well of others.  Don’t get caught in the trap of speaking badly of others.

Save 10% of everything you make.

4 things to do

Buy a home.

Save 10% in an investment vehicle  that you can’t withdraw easily (like early withdraw penalty)

Rule of 72 – Annual income percentage of your investment, divide by 72, and that is the time it will double. [seems garbled.  Look up on the internet]

Compound interest is the 8^th wonder of the world, the greatest discovery ever made.

Accelerated debt paying off your debts.  Add extra.

Be humble and diligent and pay off your debts and the Lord will soften the hearts of those holding your debts until means are sent to pay them

1% million dollar choices – small changes that create life options

“The Millionaire Next Door” 

Little financial choices every day drain out money

Multipliers and matches

RESIRV

Recurring

Expenses

Save (and)

Invest (to make the change permanent)

Right

Vehicle

401Ks are good because someone else does all the work.

Possibly matching

On KBYU, type in 401K and look at some videos on 401Ks if you don’t know about it

Invest the Saved Taxes

Assume $150 wages .. fed tax 25%, state tax 8% total tax 33% == $50

$100 spendable income left

assume $100 spent on cigarettes.  $50 was paid on taxes to pay for the vice

Instead, put into 401K.  $50  of taxes is saved

Tax match 50%

80% people who have saved anything, put it into their 401K

People prefer to cancel their universal life insurance policy

What about 401Ks going down in value?

No, the investment inside the 401K went down. 

Employer matches

Employers who match contributions to 401Ks give free money!  We especially like dollar-for-dollar matches

If employer doesn’t match, don’t work for them!

Salary index match – elect contributions as a percentage, not as a dollar amount so that it will adjust as income goes up

This may add up to an extra 75% greater investment by retirement, assuming an average 5% annual salary increase

Little choices like this are an “endowment” – a gift that gives forever.

This is about managing your resources better and looking at things differently

Budgeting –

Level 6 budgeting reducing future expenses ased on planning and projections (million dollar choices, less than ½ of 1% of all Americans do this)

Level 5 budgeting limiting future expenses based on projections

Level 4 budgeting projecting future categories and actual expenses

Level 3 categorizing expenses on a routing basis

Level 2 monthly balancing checkbook and other account balances

Level 1 having an inefficient intuitive sense what is in your checking/savings/credit card accounts  (most Americans)

Term life insurance www.term4sale.com  (cheapest place to buy insurance)

Cell phone  www.cellswapper.com 

Convenience store versus wholesale warehouse (for treats after kids sports game)  often a 100% markup at convenience stores!

Scottmarsh.com for million dollar choices

You can make

“out of small things proceedeth that with is great”

PRIMED acronym

Predisposition to do smart things, saving money that you can suddenly save instead of spending it

RESIRV

Inspired/Innovative/Insightful

Multiplier

Endow

Determination/Discipline

2 Nephi 9 Do not spend your money for what isn’t worth anything or your labor on something that doesn’t satisfy.

Spend in a way that shows Heavenly Father how much we care

Don’t worry about inflation, because if you do, you won’t save anything.  Would you rather have something saved or have nothing at all?

Many Buddist are Chinese and it is hard to get numbers out of China

Some participate in multiple religions

About 359M Buddists

First impressions – temples, figures, statues, bright robes of monks and nuns

Dali Lama, 

Started in India, declined, stronger home in east Asia

7.2% of world population is Buddist

about 4M in US

8.6K in Utah

Buddist nations – China, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam, Burma

Said to be the single most important civilizing influence in the Eastern world

Buddha tried asceticism first and decided that wasn’t the way, decided a middle way—enjoying life, but not getting too far into it.

Mythic (stories)

Doctrinal (beliefs)

Experiential (emotional)

Ritual (practice)

Stories revolve around Buddha.(Siddhartha Gautama) (not the only Buddha)

Born around 563 BCE.  At his birth a sage named Asita saw the gods dancing in glee

It was prophesied that he would be a religious teacher, but he was in a warrior class, so his dad wasn’t keen on that.

His dad decided to keep him in the palace and it would never happen.

Four sights when he got out – old man (aging inevitable)  sick man (sickness inevitable)  corpse (death is human fate)  monk (salvation through withdrawal from the world)

Sitting under the bodhi, Tree of Wisdom, reached nirvana (enlightenment)

Theravada Buddhism

“way of monks” (lesser vehicle)

use of Pali as a liturgical and scholastic language

Nontheistic – path of self-salvation.  YOU have to do the work.

Strong tradition of commentaries on earlier scriptures

Categories of Theravada thought and practice

--generosity (bring merit by good works)  They get rid of the caste system

--morality – restraint and positive virtue

--meditation – core of religious life; transforms individual; removes obstacles to progression; generates positive traits

--heaven – possibility of rebirth (goal is getting out of reincarnation)

--nirvana (absence of rebirth) enlightenment possible on earth, or the final stage that can occur at death.  Blissful state?  Non-existence?  Like a candle blown out instead of passing the flame to another candle.  This is considered desirable because you wouldn’t be caught in the cycle of pain.  The end of struggle of life

Later Buddhist development- Mahayana (“greater vehicle”)

Buddha worshipped as a god   Relics – body parts of Buddha or saints

Enlightened beings (boddhisatvas)can help others and served as examples  (LDS equivalent would be one of the 3 Nephites)

Buddhist monasteries accepted gifts as acts of generosity that merited salvation

Educational institutions promoted the faith

Vjrayana (tibetian Buddhism)

“Vehicle of the thunderbolt”

tantic (manuals) male and female energies become the focal point of spiritual development

Process of visualization of oneself as a Buddha, acting as if you were one already

Necessity of the personal teacher as source of all wisdom

Considered a faster process

Example: Dali Lama

Amitabbha – Lord of the western Paradise

As a bodhisattva, he created a paradise for those who depend on him for salvation

The more his name is recited, the greater the spiritual benefit (mantra)

Appears in vision at death to those who trust him.  Souls reborn in “pure land” to listen to his teachings until enlightenment

Avalokitesvara

Created from a ray of light which emanated from third eye of his father, Amitabha

Compassion personified

Manifested himself on earth 333 times, latest Dalai Lama

Latest news.. He wants to counsel with others as to whether he should “come back” (reincarnate) again

Doctrinal

Four Noble Truths

1 Life is duffering (dukka)

2 Desire is the cause of suffering (desire for permanence)

3 End suffering by eliminate desire and attachment to things

4 Eliminate desire with the eight-fold path “middle way” between extremes of self-indulgence and self-denial

Eightfold Path

Right belief

Right thought – no cruelty

Right speech

Right conduct

Right occupation – no harm to any living thing

Withdraw from the world

Right effort

Right mindfulness – full consciousness of self

Right meditation

Tipitaka “three baskets”  (scriptures)

Vinaya Pitaka – monastic rules

Sutta Pitaka – teachings of the Buddha

Experiential – spiritual experiences

State of perfect spiritual independence, awaking, extinguishing the flame

Arhat – one who has attained enlightenment

Meditation – mental concentration and mindfulness

Samadhi – exercises exploring subtle states of consciousness

Vispassan – aims at perceiving impermanence and the unsatisfactoriness of life

Meditation gardens (some at Japan)  simple gravel and rocks placed

Ritual (practice)

Mantras – sacred sounds

Mudras - hand gestures, seen in Buddhist statues

Prayer recitation with prayer wheel as a way of focusing—the spinning prays for you

Veneration of Buddha and deities – incense, offerings

Pilgrimage sites  to Stupas where relics are

Coming of age, children can become a monk.  Once hair is shaved, it becomes holy since it indicates a new phase of life.  They must dispose of that hair properly

Major festivals

Ethical

No killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, intoxication

Three jewels – Buddha, dharma, sangha (community)

“dependent co-rising” –Everything you do affects others.  Cause and effect,  Consequences chained together

Social

No individual self

Self is a collection of the five elements (physical body, sense, perceptions, responses, consciousness)

Material (artistic)

Statues, images – You can tell differences in the style

Stupas

Ringing gongs showing you gained merit for offerings

Huge Buddhas carved out of rock (some of which Muslims have used as target practice, which has angered Buddhists)

Elaborate sand sculptures that they will then destroy because they represent impermanence

Similarities between Buddhists and LDS

Both advocate meditation, reverence, inspiration, moderation

Both advocate freedom from ill will or lying, violence

Lay clergy, importance of family

Compassionate service to help those who can’t help themselves

(Acts 15:1 – 18:22)

Jerusalem conference (15:1-35) and Galatians 2:1-10

Galatia is Lystra and Derbe and environs

Paul tells everything that happened.  Some Judeans come and say that circumcision is required for salvation, that they had to go first through the Law of Moses to get to Christianity

Jewish baptism is different from Christian baptism

John’s baptism was different from Jewish baptism (by one having authority in a certain way)

Jewish baptism would happen a lot (flowing water, walk down, immerse self, walk up out)

Jewish converts had to be baptized in a mikva, then offer sacrifice to cleanse themselves, then accept to live the Law of Moses, and men had to be circumcised

Judean Christians thought this wasn’t supposed to change just because Christ had come and atoned.

Huge dissention and disputation over it.

They take the question to Jerusalem (49AD)

They went through Phoenicia and Samaria, while others would avoid there.

First some private meetings and Paul and Barnabus argue about it.

Peter stands up and recalls his visit to Cornelius.  “We didn’t impose the law on Cornelius, so we can’t impose this on the gentiles”

Paul and Barnabas tell the story of their mission and talk about how the spirit was with them and that had to be a sign that the Law of Moses wasn’t required.

James (Jesus’s brother) says “Put no other requirements except for avoiding fornication and idolatry from strangled animals and eating blood” (Don’t worship in pagan temples and rituals)

This was a sacrifice because the only way they got meat was through idolatrous sacrifice.

Letters sent with Judas, Silas, Paul, and Barnabas to deliver the letter with this decision.

(However, this didn’t settle what the Jews should do, whether they should still live the Law of Moses, which plagues the church until the temple is destroyed.)

2^nd journey starts at Antioch and goes in a loop, ending at Antioch

Acts 15:6  They decide to check on the converts and see how they are doing

Paul doesn’t want to take John Mark, Barnabas does. (John Mark abandoned them in the 1^st mission)

Barnabus takes Mark and goes to Cyprus

Paul takes Silas and they go to on the journey

We hear nothing more of Barnabas (legend says he was killed in Cyprus)

Ease of travel due to Roman roads, which have lasted 2000 years

Taurus Mountains Cilician Gates (acts 15:41)  10K ft

@ Lystra, they pick up Timothy, son of Eunice.  His father is a Greek.  It seems his mother was an inactive Jew.  He’d been raised as a Greek by his father.

Paul circumcised Timothy so that he’d be more acceptable to Jews

Mysia, then Troas.  The itinerary changes because the Spirit told them not to go to Asia (Ephesis area)

Troas is a big seaport, Greek city.

They meet Luke (possibly converting him there?)

Paul’s dream of a Macedonian man that pleads to them to come to Macedonia to help them.  (But when they get there they only convert women!  Odd)

When it starts talking about “we” from “them” we see that Luke has joined them, which makes us think that Luke comes from Troas.  Once Luke accompanies them, the account gets very detailed.

Samothracia to Neapolis to Philippi

Samothracia has 5K high mountain you could see easily for miles

Philippi is where they are thrown in jail

Philippi was a Roman colony.  Lots of Romans in the population.

No synagogue, so they went to a riverside where prayer was made. (Mikva site)

Paul finds Lydia and she’s converted.  She was a seller of purple dye, apparently wealthy.

She constrains them to stay with her.

Paul and Silas are imprisoned for healing a possessed girl, which hurt some people’s livelihood.

They sing hymns at midnight. Earthquake looses them and opens the door.  Paul stops the guard from killing himself.  He asks them to teach him.

Paul baptizes jailer and his whole household in the night.

Magistrates decide to release Paul.  He refuses to leave, on the grounds of being Roman.  This would protect his converts.

The Phillipian Saints are about the only people who don’t have to deal with persecution because the officials are held hostage to Paul’s mercy to not reveal their lawbreaking of beating and imprisoning them uncondemned.

To Amphipolis, then Thessalonica

Paul went to the synagogue to teach for 3 Sabbaths

Lots of chief women converted.  Lots of Jews tried to cause an uproar.  Paul and Silas left by night. 

Went to Berea.  Had success in Berea. 

Paul went to Athens by himself.

Athens had declined by then, but had a tradition of scholarship.  Lots of people getting together to argue about stuff.

Paul disputed daily.   Philosophers say “What will this babbler say?”  Babbler is a seed-picking bird that is just picking up food (ideas) that had fallen off their market carts.  They didn’t respect him much.

Here Paul quotes Greek poets to make the case their unknown god is his God.

They turn off their ears when he starts talking about the resurrection.

Paul leaves.

To Corinth

Why does he go to Corinth?  He has a convert Sosthenes who invited him to stay at his house in Corinth.

Corinth was famous for immorality because of all the sailors, whose boats were rolled over the mainland the few miles to get to the opposite side of the peninsula.

10 Mountains You Can Move With Your Faith

Tips of gardening

Getting rid of field bindweed (Morning glory) – break off tip and put Roundup in bottom of cut, then put the tip back on.  It will soak up the chemical and kill it.

If you get Roundup, get the concentrate, not the ready to spray because it will last much longer.

IF you don’t want to wear gloves, dig fingernails into a bar of soap.  Or wear surgical gloves. You’ll have the tactile experience.

Coat line of weed wacker with mineral oil with cooking spray to keep it from breaking

Birds eat strawberries.  Put rocks painted like strawberries around the plants to fool the birds and uncondition them.

Store a year’s supply of seeds.  (They last longer than the seed companies want us to believe.)

Put newspaper around plants, then put mulch on top for a weed barrier.  It can be roto-tilled in.

Provident gardening – anticipating and making ready for future wants  or emergencies; exercising foresight.

Elder Perry still gardens, even if it is just a few seeds.

Edible landscaping.  Planting well-known vegetables and fruits in unconventional places.  Learning what is already grown that is unconventionally edible. 

Learn to eat your yard!

(Many flowers on Temple Square are edible)

Tulip flower petals, pansy flowers are edible

Use only organic flowers. 

Nastertiums are edible, lilies, hibiscus, roses, squash blossoms

Be careful that it really IS edible before eating it

Edible landscape can get around HOAS

Strawberries make a good groundcover.

Fill up cracks with moss and thyme

If you add chemical fertilizer to the lawn, don’t put it on the edible garden.

If you use organic mulch, you don’t have to worry, unless you use grass clippings that have had chemicals on them

Lemon balm

Sages

Herbs

Horehound

Mint – mint spreads and takes over.  Plant in a pot and sink it into the ground to prevent it from taking over

Parsley

If you don’t know how to garden, go to a church property and see how they arrange things.  They never plant in rows.  The Temple Square gardener tries to create a river or stream of plants.  They throw their plants and bulbs out and plant where they fall.

Cabbages

Chives – can be frozen

Spring peas

Lettuce -- will go to seed when it is too hot.  Can be harvested a few leaves at a time. There are different varieties of lettuce

Spinach – will go to seed when it is too hot

Philbert (nuts)

Tomatoes with trellis

Containers can be moved if needed

Lettuces – red sales, buttercrunch, romaine

Iceberg lettuce is least nutritious.

Artichoke  -- Do you pick the bud or let it flower?  Flowers are pretty, but not edible. Can harvest some and allow others to flower.  Are perennials in warm climates.

Rhubarb

Onions, beets

Banana squash plant

Raspberries can have netting put over it to protect it from the birds

Fruit trees – prevent the lawn from coming up to the trunk of the tree.  Need 3 foot circle without lawn.  Don’t necessarily need cement edging, but can put in weed barrier down and bark over top

Walmart weed barrier (black) is flimsy and rips to easily.  Get good landscape-quality weed barrier.  Don’t’ use black or clear plastic.  Costco has some good sturdy weed barrier

Chokecherry, can make chokecherry syrup

Elderberry

Almond tree

When to plant fruit trees?  Spring or fall, but not in middle summer.  Greatest selection of fruit trees is usually spring.  When planting them, make the hole 3x the size of the rootball.  Add some good soil, but mix it with lots of existing soil. 

Replay décor trees with fruit trees

Espalier fruit trees, flattened on a wall.  Good for small spaces

Grapes

Gooseberries

Blueberries

Egyptian onions- they bend over and then seed themselves.  Perennial.

Provo city landscaped their city hall with edible landscaping

Marigolds are thought to help prevent pests.

Three sisters – corn, beans, squash.

Corn grows in middle

Squash keeps ground cool and hold in moisture.  The corn becomes the trellis for the beans

Beans provide nitrogen for the soil

Amaranth

Papyrus is not edible, but it looks distinctive

Container gardening

Thrill, fill, spill – catch the eye, fill in the holes, a vine to spill over the sides

Lettuce and onions

The size of the container has to be big for a tomato

Strung-out Slinky and the pinwheels can prevent birds from eating a container garden

A black pot will heat the soil and dry out the plant too quickly. But that’s good in the cool spring

Need good drainage.  Put newspaper and rocks over the holes, or even old pantyhose

Full sun is 6-9 hours of sun

Need good soil in a container.  Existing soil goes really hard.

Use organic fertilizer – fish fertilizer, then let the water run for a while so it doesn’t build up

Containers dry out much quicker.  Need watering at least once a day if not twice.

Living wreaths

Bucket gardening with water reservoir

There are no failures in trying to conceive.  There are processes with purpose and journeys with purpose.  Failure is only because of an expected outcome.

“It seems that the stigma of barrenness is as strong in our church culture today as it was in the days of Hannah” (Craig T. Evers)

Cultural Survival Guide

Better understand infertility. 

Get as much education and knowledge as you can about the things you are facing.

Some continue infertility an enemy.  Know your enemy. 

Knowledge is power.  The more you know, the more comfortable you become talking to others about it.  Others don’t know much about it at all.

Many comments made are out of ignorance not malice.

Infertility affects 1 out of 7 couples in the US

1 out of 6 couples worldwide

25% infertile couples have more than one factor cuasing

40% infertile couples have male factor sole contributing

40% infertile couples have female factor sole contributing

(EQUAL chance!!!  Yet it is assumed it is always the woman’s fault!)

20% infertile couples both partners are contributors

5-10% of couples test normal and there is no apparent cause of infertility.

Diagnoses are liberating because you now have answers and have a course of action to pursue.

85% issues can be simply overcome with minor intervention <$3000

Secondary infertility is growing.  Can have a child, but then subsequent children don’t come.  Very hard to diagnose because it isn’t a chronic condition.

Construct answers to those questions that are comfortable to answer

“if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear” D&C 38:30

Discuss with your spouse what answer to give.

“So when are you going to have kids?  Do you want them?” 

“The order for children was placed some time ago and our miracles are apparently on backorder.”

How we respond to comments speaks about us personally.  We can be seen as bitter and unapproachable, or we can be open and willing to foster understanding.

Find a support system and avoid isolation

Other members are “willing to bear our burdens and mourn with us and comfort us” (Mosiah 18:8-9)

Have a least one person NOT your spouse, since spouse is hurting too.  There are support groups for LDS couples out there that give anonymity and support.

Non-LDS groups have a lot more bitterness, so be cautious.

Withdrawal will lead to rebellion against possible support groups.  It can lead to rejecting ourselves.  IT can lead to darkening influence, despondency.

United faith and prayers and fasting

“whatsoever ye shall ask in faith, being united in prayer according to my command ye shall receive.” (D&C 29:6)

When there is success, those who have prayed and fasted consider that baby “theirs” too

Assume the best and don’t be so sensitive.

“He who takes offense when no offense was intended is a fool.”  (Brigham Young)

Comments are usually said out of concern and without malice.

“Fertile in our Faith” (book)

Don’t be offended by others not appreciating kids, and don’t be offended by couples appreciating their children

Don’t be offended by those who ask and those who don’t.

“Infertility: Hope, Help, and Healing” (new book)

Humor and lots of it

If you can laugh at your situation, you can survive it.

Humor is a defense against humor

“My date with Dixie”  (having to provide sperm for testing)

“Do you have any hamster magazines I can look at?”  (when hearing that hamster eggs will be used for testing)

“Mattress Mambo Madness”  (how it is on the calendar)

Exercise Charity; charity never faileth

“Charity envieth not, seeketh not her own, thinketh no evil, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” Moroni 7:45-48

Be grateful and count your blessings. 

Honor your mother

“we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him” (Helaman 12:1)

Make mothers day something that YOU can celebrate

Ask every day if you have seen the hand of God in your life today.

Journal about it

Journals will show different perspectives and show progress.  Show feelings.

Anxiously engage in service to others.  It helps lift your spirits.

It is the best medicine for self-pity.

Rejoice with those who have cause to rejoice.

“Whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (Matt 7:12)

Even if you can’t go to the baby shower, let the person know that you are happy for them.

Take your joy where you can get it, even when you have to borrow someone else’s joy.

“Envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know!  Why should you be jealous because I [the Lord] choose to be kind?” (Elder Holland)

Pray always

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings and he will direct the for good” (Alma 37:37)

Offer encouragement, kindness, and commendation.

Recognize there is more to this person or couple than their reproductive status.

It is not about them making you a grandparent

Listen, listen, listen.. If they want to talk. If they don’t bring it up, don’t talk about it.

It’s hard to get lots of advice and opinions from outside.

Ask, “How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you lately”

Help them find opportunities to use their nurturing abilities.  Give them opportunities to participate in child’s activities.  Allow them to announce a pregnancy or birth.

Appreciate your children, if you have them.  Don’t complain about how kids drive you nuts.

If you’ve been in a similar experience, share it.  It’s validating.

Don’t tell them what you think they should do; it adds additional pressure.

Support their decisions. Couples are entitled to receive personal revelation on the matter.  Your feelings don’t matter.  It is for them to decide.

IF they have had a pregnancy loss or treatment failure, help them validate the experience.  (Don’t dismiss feelings)

When you start the process, you start thinking like a parent, because if it works, you will be a parent.  When it doesn’t work, it is a REAL LOSS.  There’s a grieving period.

Bad:  “There will be other times.”  “Don’t worry you can try again next month”

Be sensitive at commonly tender times when they may feel out of place. (holidays)

Online support sites

www2ofus4now.org  (Yahoo chat group)

www.familiessupportingadoption.blogspot.com

Things we do can really impact those around us, like our children.

Mom making bread really influenced him

His son made bread at age 12 and sold it to the neighbors for $5/loaf to pay for his paintball gun.

He likes to make bread and deliver it to ward widows when he is feeling depressed and it perks him up really fast.

If you don’t enjoy making bread, you’re doing something wrong.

Challenge: Make homemade bread by hand.

For practical purposes, it is lovely to have a Bosch mixer  5 loafs in 1 hr 10 minutes.

Bosch mixers are lovely.  Can make whole grain and multi-grain bread and have it turn out lovely.

Flatbread makers are lovely and make flatbread with same dough in moments.

Hard red wheat – acidic, nutty flavor.

Hard white wheat – makes a lighter loaf of bread, alkaline-based

3 pieces of equipment

Bosch mixer (will work circles around the Kitchenaid) $200

A Mill to grind the flour fresh

A pressure cooker

For times there is no time to grind the grain – King Arthur flour, Wheat Montana, Prairie Gold, Bronze Chief (in a brown bag)

Wheat is dependent on where it’s grown

King Arthur flour is bromide free and chemical free

White flour is not good for you.  But is used for yeasted bread.

If your family doesn’t eat it, you’ve wasted your time.

Add wheat flour to white bread flour to make it more healthy.

6 c flour

When adding grains to bread, 1/3 formula:  2/3 of flour has to be white flour, the other 1/3 can be anything you want  (this keeps it light enough that family still likes it.)

Cooked, cracked, flour, whatever.

Water, 6 cups

Oil (any kind)  amount doesnot matter

Salt 2 T

Flour 12 cups

Yeast goes on top (handful)  New instant yeasts don’t need to be proofed in water.  Just the moisture will bring it too life.

Bosches can hold up to 6 loaves worth of bread.  If the Bosch is cleaning the sides of the bowl, you don’t need to add anything more.

6 minutes of mixing, the equivalent of rising two times

For dinner rolls, don’t let it completely pull away from the sides of the Bosch

The stickier the dough, the lighter the roll.

Pour in some oil in the sides, this makes it easier to take it out of the mixer.

No more flour to touch the dough again.  Put oil on the counter

Pull hook out.

Fold over the dough (nice and plump and mushy)

Forming loaves of bread

Different loaf pans require different amounts of dough

Use a kitchen scale to weigh the loaves

2 lbs of dough pan – If too little, it will be overproofed.  If too large, it will be too dense.

If you weigh, then they look all the same size.

Helps make sure all loaves bake the same. 

The narrower the pan, the better support it is for the dough

9”-10” X 4”

When dough is sticky, don’t freak out

Forming a loaf – flatten, fold it out, throw it at the counter, swirl it (for a freestanding loaf)

Baking (preheat to 400 degrees, put loaf in, turn down temp to 335 or 325.. Back for 25 minutes

To see if done, check temperature of bread.  At 180 degrees, bread is done, not touching the pan

Get a little cooking thermometer

If looking for an oven, get a European convection oven.

Other ingredients to add to make bread fun – cocoa mix like baking cocoa, raisen, cheeses (added last minute), walnuts, (usually added at the beginning)

Can do a pastry flour with sister attachment that sifts finer flour into the dough