“A person doesn’t ‘quit’ porn simply by stopping it, or avoiding it. Yes, those two things seem like common-sense solutions when trying to kick the habit, but they rarely actually work.” That’s some of the advice from the article “Quitting Porn – For Realsies” by Nathan Reo on MidSinglesToday.com.
The article addresses several reasons why, one of which is that we don’t succeed in life by simply avoiding the bad. “NOT doing something bad does not equal doing something good.”
The author suggests that that problem is “thinking that NOT BREAKING RULES is equivalent to living righteously. We get the idea that we are making all this progress by merely not doing a bunch of stuff.” We can fall into a trap of thinking that living “righteously” is all about keeping rules. But this kind of thinking is hurtful to ourselves. There are essentially three ways to live:
- Doing bad things
- Avoiding bad things by focusing on rules, or
- Proactively doing good things beyond merely keeping rules.
And only one of them brings desirable results.
“The same goes with porn. The key is to realize that avoiding bad stuff won’t bring you good results…. You must proactively create positive habits IN ADDITION to your efforts to avoid negative ones.”
If you try to quit viewing pornography by sheer willpower, you will most likely fail. “It’s not a wise approach because the craving is still there, and can continue to get worse. The point is to avoid the behavior AS WELL AS remedy the craving. If you’re just white-knuckling it, you are not necessarily getting stronger, better, or developing greater will power.”
The article then suggests several questions to ask yourself to discover the underlying reason you may have a desire to view pornography.
“A porn addiction is not just an addiction to watching pornographic videos; it’s an addiction to thinking a certain way, feeling a certain way, and coping a certain way. Giving in to the urge to look at porn is the result of repetitive thoughts and repetitive feelings we don’t realize we’re having.”
The end goal is love. “Love has the power to pull people out of dark places. Love is stronger than the craving for sex. Love literally makes a task easier, just as passion makes work not seem like work.”
Read the entire article “Quitting Porn – For Realsies” on MidSinglesToday.com.
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