As a teenager, I would often do the “ask Mom if Dad says no” routine. When my kind but firm father would assign a curfew, restrict privileges, or set any kind of boundary, I assumed he had made an error in his fairness calculations or, on my less generous days, that he was trying to ruin my life. I would then insist on pulling my mom aside privately to make my case to her—surely she would understand my plight. Everyone else was doing what I was asking to do. She wouldn’t want my social life to be ruined, right? But time after time, I would come away disappointed. My mother always insisted that she and my father were on the same team, that they both loved me and wanted what was best and safest for me, and she was not going to publicly or privately undermine him. 

Now my oldest daughter, 8, is old enough to try the parent run-around. After only a few attempts, she realized it didn’t work. One of my proudest parenting moments was when she said, “Dad said I can’t do this, and it’s not fair, and don’t say you’re on the same team. I hate it when you’re on the same team!”

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A few years ago, the leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ made a distinct shift to more frequently referring to our Heavenly Parents rather than just the Father. The existence of a Heavenly Mother is one of the most unique doctrines of the Restored Church and it is one of great significance to women. Further, “[our] understanding [of Heavenly Mother] is rooted in scriptural and prophetic teachings about the nature of God, our relationship to Deity, and the godly potential of men and women.” Knowing that we are patterned after a divine woman brings greater understanding of the eternal nature of the family because women can live knowing that Heavenly Mother has felt what we have felt and has been through what we have been through. Fundamentally, we know Heavenly Mother by knowing the love and character of our Heavenly Father because they are one in purpose and intent. It has been exciting to see more discussion online between Latter-day Saint women on this topic as well as beautiful artwork depicting not only the Father but also the Mother reaching out to Their children on earth. I, like many other women I knew, bought the books, followed the Instagram accounts, and shared the artwork.

But something that quickly surprised me was the frequency with which Heavenly Mother was presented as being at odds with her Spouse. There seemed to be an implication that He was the mean Old Testament God, and she is a more compassionate, loving God for modern sensibilities. In many publications, she was presented as an LGBT+ ally and often connected with progressive American identity politics (“Heavenly Mother is an anti-racist!”). Heavenly Mother, according to some, doesn’t approve of our temple garments. For others, the doctrine of Heavenly Mother is too heteronormative, and it needed to undergo “theological queering.” Now, I have no doubt that Heavenly Mother loves all her children fully and equally, including those who identify with different genders, orientations, and races. I am equally confident that our Mother in Heaven doesn’t turn her back on us when we struggle with aspects of the gospel or are not making choices in line with the commandments.

However, what seems to be happening here is the old parent run-around, but on a Heavenly scale. People have tired of waiting for the Church to change its doctrines or adopt a particular worldview, so they’ve sought after a new God, one who, since we know much less about, is much easier to make in our own image. Elder Renlund warned against using Heavenly Mother as a replacement God for the Father in his April 2022 General Conference Women’s Session message: “Speculation will not lead to greater spiritual knowledge, but it can lead us to deception or divert our focus from what has been revealed.” 

Unlike the Romans or the Greeks of old, Latter-day Saints do not have a pantheon of self-serving, humanlike Gods who rarely get along and are consulted on an as-needed basis depending on the area of need (and the likelihood that they’ll side with you). Our theology instead teaches of a Heavenly Family who work in unity to bring about the salvation of mankind. If I were to speculate about why we don’t know more about Heavenly Mother or why she does not play a more central role in our worship, I would assume it is exactly to reduce the likelihood that we will pick and choose a favorite God and assign to them reductive characteristics or think we can pit them against each other.

I do think, however, that it is possible to come to know our Heavenly Mother more solely based on the scriptures and the knowledge God has given us so far. In his October 2024 General Conference address, Elder David P. Homer taught, 

God gives His word according to the attention and effort we devote to it. If we heed God’s word, we will receive more; if we ignore His counsel, we will receive less and less until we have none. This loss of knowledge does not mean that the truth was wrong; rather, it shows that we have lost the capacity to understand it. 

There is much to learn about our Heavenly Mother if we are open to hearing the Spirit. So I’ll share a few things that I have learned about Heavenly Mother.

I’ve learned about Heavenly Mother from being married. My husband and I do not have a perfect marriage, but we are most happy when we are working in unity. We have different interests, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses, but it is important for our goals and commitments to be aligned. I believe that because we know much about the Father’s will, we also know the Mother’s. His will is Her will. Her work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man (Moses 1:39). The Plan of Salvation is Their plan.

I’ve learned about Heavenly Mother from my parent’s marriage. They recently celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary. Now, instead of trying to set my parents against each other, I look to them for insights on each other. If my father urges me to make a decision, my mother will remind me of how much wisdom and experience he has. If my mother expresses a concern to me, my father will remind me how my mother knows me better than anyone else in the world and that she is worth listening to. Both consistently demonstrate a great deal of respect and deference to one another in front of their children. Likewise, I can look to my Heavenly Father and his teachings to learn more about Mother. I can remember that anything that separates me from the Father also separates me from the Mother.

I’ve learned about Heavenly Mother from being a mother and from my own Christlike, beautiful mother. The importance and divinity of motherhood have not only been affirmed by my own experience but also by the words of the prophets. I have learned that both Heavenly Father and Mother have entrusted women with their sacred power of creation and that it is dangerous, beautiful, sorrowful, and deeply fulfilling. I have learned from inspired women such as Sherry Dew and Sharon Eubank that women who are unable to bear children are still called to be mothers and also that Heavenly Mother weeps for the righteous desires of these women’s hearts and promises that, in time, those blessings will be fulfilled. I have learned that Heavenly Mother wants her children to love each other.

I’ve learned about Heavenly Mother from the scriptures. If God is the Father and the Mother united as one, then we know many of Her godly characteristics:

• She knew us before we were formed in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5)
• She has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding (Alma 26:35)
• She has a perfect balance of justice and mercy (James 2:13)
• She is steadfast and forgiving (Psalms 86:5)
• She finds joy in her children (Zephaniah 3:17)
• She hates wickedness, cruelty, immorality, idolatry, and dishonesty (Colossians 3:5 and many others)

I could go on at length about the many attributes of God in the scriptures, but suffice it to say that when we are coming close to Him, we are coming close to Her.

The post Reimagining the Divine: Heavenly Mother and the Temptation of Speculation appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

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