Had you never chosen to serve a mission, I am confident that I never would have married you.

Shortly after my mission, I made a “checklist” of things I wanted in my future wife. It included what I thought were important qualities for someone who would be my companion in this life and for eternity—things like ambitious, athletic, loves sports, attractive, has a strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and a desire to have a family and help build the kingdom of God on earth.

In those days, sports were my life. Because you didn’t meet the sports and athletic requirements of my checklist, I never would have let myself get emotionally attached to you when dating. But since you were going on a mission soon, I had nothing to worry about—no fear of getting attached and nothing to lose.

And then you hooked me. You got me good. I was emotionally attached to you and so in love with you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you while you were in the MTC and wrote to you every day.

My plan was to date others. I had a year and a half to find someone, and if I didn’t, I would seriously consider marrying you.

Then came the news that you were coming home from the MTC, and suddenly I had to figure out if marrying you was the right thing to do—if it was God’s will for us to be sealed eternally and raise a family together.

I prayed. I fasted. I went to the temple many times, but I never felt any strong spiritual manifestation telling me that “you were the one” or that I was supposed to marry you. I expected some kind of major, overwhelming spiritual experience, like when I gained my testimony of the Book of Mormon.

Because I didn’t have a major manifestation, I decided I was going to pack up, leave Reno, and move on with my life without you. The next morning, I was reading the scriptures and came across the passage in the New Testament where the apostles cast lots to select Matthias as the new apostle. I thought, why not? I’ll cast lots about marrying Megan.

So I pulled out some dice and made an arbitrary deal—something like, if I roll a six, it’s a sign I’m supposed to marry you; if I roll a one, it’s not. It came up as a one, so I rolled again. And again. It rolled several different numbers, but somehow landed on one about ten times in a row—an improbably low mathematical chance—seeming to say that marrying you wasn’t the right thing to do.

I was conflicted, thinking there was no way I could have rolled that many ones in a row, yet I felt no Spirit from the experience. I thought, this is stupid. God isn’t going to answer my prayers with casino dice.

I went into the living room and turned on the TV. On BYUtv there was a replay of a BYU–Idaho devotional—a devotional I had attended in person when I was a student there in October of 2000, that just so happened to be answering the very question I was seeking at that moment. This is the devotional I heard:

The topic wasn’t just about seeking personal revelation, but Brother Kumferman specifically addressed the question of how to know if someone is “the one” to marry. He taught that when making decisions, it isn’t always a voice from the heavens or an overwhelming spiritual experience. Sometimes God has already told us, but we just haven’t been listening. Sometimes we have already had that confirmation.

At that moment, I knew. I knew that God had already revealed to me that I did feel good about marrying you. Even though you didn’t meet all the items on my checklist, you met the ones that truly mattered. You had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You had a desire to raise a family and build the kingdom of God on earth. And I loved you and wanted to be with you forever.

My prayers were answered. And because of that small miracle—the tender mercy of a BYU–Idaho devotional rebroadcast —I heard exactly what I needed at the moment I was ready to leave Reno and take a different path in life. That experience led me to make an appointment with your father to ask for permission to marry you.

That decision set me on a path far different from anything I had planned. Had I not married you—with your laid-back personality and your complete trust and confidence in me—I don’t believe I would have had the courage or support to pursue the entrepreneurial path that has given me so much flexibility and blessed our family temporally and spiritually. Without you, we never would have moved to Logan. I likely never would have discovered disc golf, started my businesses with all their success, traveled the world on HXP trips, or founded the nonprofit that blesses the lives of so many people.

My life has been so good Megan. I have been so blessed, and so many of those blessings have come because of the spiritual confirmation that came that led me to marry you.