I asked five different girls out for tonight, beginning earlier in the week, stretching through tonight. Everyone was busy. And I know it was that they were actually busy (and not just uninterested) since all of them have been pretty clear that they wanted to spend more time with me. Which leaves me without a date the weekend before Valentine's Day. Like usual.
Wait a sec - I just thought of one more person I could ask... We just sort of broke up, but she made it clear that she still wanted to be friends. And a friend date would be better than nothing...
Nice. She said yes, sounded excited... but is busy right now, so we'll work out the details in a bit. That's a miracle. Blog about my problems, and the Lord solves them for me on the spot. I don't have a real date for tonight, since it's clear between us that we're not going the romantic route, but that's fine - all I really need is someone to distract me and an opportunity to have fun.
On a side note: A recent comment asked why I'm so passionate about finding the right girl, instead of just deciding to be celibate for the rest of life. The answer is buried in posts somewhere (which reminds me that I should find a way to organize them), but I think it's worth mentioning. The question comes from a number of sources, specifically that the Church no longer encourages marriage as a form of therapy. Some people have mistakenly misconstrued that statement and claim that the Church "discourages" marriage. In reality, the Church supports those who fall in love with and decide to get married to a spouse of the opposite gender, even with same-gender attraction. It also supports those who feel it's right to live a life of celibacy.
My non-date went well tonight. I've tried to experiment with being more physical in this relationship; I usually feel incredibly uncomfortable even touching girls and I never hold hands... so I tried being more physical while we dated. At least, more than I had been before - holding hands, escorting with my arm, sitting or standing with my arm around her, brushing up against her whenever it was possible. Yeah. It didn't do much for me. But we enjoy each other's company... which is better than sitting at home.
I've been promised that I'll find and marry a wife in this life, and I believe that's true. Hence why I continue to search. I don't intend to marry someone I'm not attracted to, so it will take a miracle or something similar when the time comes, but I believe it will happen, for me.
"True love can be whispered from heart to heart when lovers are parted," they say... But I must depend on a wish and a star (and faith and prayers and good works) as long as my heart doesn't know who you are...
Goodnight, my someone... Goodnight.
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