When I was a young married student at BYU, we attended a local Provo ward with some young student families and a lot of other people, many close to or past retirement. I was called to serve as executive secretary in a bishopric with a very experienced bishop. With his experience, he understood well what the role of executive secretary was and how important that calling was. Unfortunately, I did not share that understanding and didn't know what was expected. I thought I was serving faithfully and didn't realize that there were a host of things he was expecting beyond attending meetings with him and carrying out specific assignments. After a couple of months, I was surprised in a sacrament meeting to hear the announcement that I had been released and a new executive executive secretary had been called. Ouch. Releases are supposed to follow interviews of some kind so that the person to be released understands that the release is coming. It's a mistake that is rare but can happen (a release interview may be delegated to a counselor and then a touch of confused communication can lead the bishop to think it's been handled when it hasn't been)--I made that mistake at least once myself. But it's also the kind of mistake that can drive wounded members out of the church. I chose to act thick-skinned and not be bothered, but I was. I remember wondering why I had not been coached and guided. I think I would have accepted the challenge and tried harder if I had know what was needed.
We all struggle in our callings, even some of us who have been around for decades with lots of Church experience. I think it's safe to assume that all of us could use some coaching and guidance when we aren't living up to expectations. But those expectations should be made clear early on and then reiterated in follow-up interviews and contact to help those in callings understand and succeed, when possible, in their callings. New and experienced members need gentle treatment and guidance to find success.
For those of us who have been wounded when our calling or release is handled in a way that causes pain or embarrassment, we must also remember that we are dealing with fallible mortals in a volunteer organization where also sorts of human problems can occur. Talk with your leader or leaders about the problem, but be patient and quick to forgive. Recognize that we need to put up with a lot in this mortal journey, but keep holding on in faith and remember that it is Christ we seek to follow and serve in His Church, no matter what gaps the mortals around us may have.
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