Yes! Gals should wear protest pants to church.

Sisters, show some solidarity this Sunday and go to sacrament meeting wearing protest pants! Show the patriarchal people of this church what you think of them and their woman-hating doctrines. Flaunt your defiance, ladies, loud and proud, and feel the power in feminist sisterhood!

(Please don’t wear pants for some other reason, though, like they’re comfortable or you don’t have anything better. We don’t want to dilute our unified message of individual empowerment and personal choice.)

Some of you may be worried that the sexist men and women at church will be upset with you. Don’t be! Just remind them that church isn’t about contention or argument and that they should stop being so divisive. Lovingly and in a supportive way, teach them that being angry proves they’re sexist.

Finally, please don’t go bra-less or try to bless the sacrament or volunteer at a woman’s shelter. Part of the message we’re trying to send here is that feminist women aren’t obsessed with clothes and trivia and are willing to take real risks, so its important that we focus.

OK, let’s do this, God will be so proud.

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