[Regular readers know I try to derive sophomoric humor from taking on the character of a lumbering seven-foot-tall asthmatic-villain-American who dresses in black plastic armor and has medical issues.

Who is also, improbably, an active Mormon.

Long-time readers know I occasionally step out of that character because it just doesn't work. When I do so, I post in brackets.

For this one, I feel I have to step out of character.

I testify that I have had powerful spiritual witnesses, at diverse times in my life, that there is a God who is deeply and personally concerned about me -- and about everyone else I know, and presumably all those I don't know.

I have had powerful spiritual witnesses that Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God, who was One with God from before this world and is the Redeemer thereof.

I have had powerful spiritual witnesses of the validity of the Restoration through Joseph Smith.

I have had powerful spiritual witnesses of the continued acceptance by God of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as His unique channel of authority on the Earth today. I have seen the Spirit working in the Church countless times.

I have staked the fate of my eternal soul on this testimony.

In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.]