My muse has updated the parable of the Good Samaritan. 

A certain man on a journey fell among thieves, who stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

A charity volunteer came down that way, and passed by the man because she was en route to a foreign land whose sympathetic sufferers were much on TV that season.

And likewise a church official, when he was in that place, examined  the man but determined that he was neither hungry nor poor, so he left him.

And a counselor also, who did not stop, because it would be disrespectful of the  man’s lifestyle to judge that he would be better off elsewhere than he was.

And a Levite came that way in the company of another.  And the Levite was much given up in his mind to meditating on whether the other was really devoted to social justice.  For the other rarely brought up such topics himself, and when the Levite had gone to check the other’s twitter account to see how frequently he retweeted social justice tweets, the other had no twitter account at all.

But the other noticed the certain man, and called out, and made to approach.

But as he did he was restrained by the Levite.  Nay, the Levite said, for do not the scriptures say that we should cherish and succor the least among us.  But see this man, he has enough goods to be robbed of them.  Surely the true sufferers are the robbers, who are desperate enough to be driven to their lonely life.  And the Levite wept tears of compassion.

But the other went to the injured man all the same.

When the other came close to the injured man, the Levite called out to him, saying, is it a white man?, and the other answered that the injured man was.  And the Levite sayeth to the other, racist.

Related:

My own variation on the Good Samaritan parable:  The Samaritan Groom.  Not as good as my muse’s, but maybe more sober.

My muse’s prior work: Everyone’s New Clothes.  The rest of the story, that Hans Christtian left out.