This is a talk I gave at Church.  I had a blast.

The Book of Mormon is for our times.  We all know about the Great and Spacious Building that Lehi saw.  It was towering up in the air and full of people with fancy clothes pointing and laughing and it had no foundation.  It made lots of people lose their way because they were ashamed or wanted to get to it.

The Book of Mormon is for our times.  It means that in our times we have to worry about bullying and mocking from prominent people, about trying to be high status, and fashions.  So let’s talk about that.

OK, let’s talk about Journalism and the Media.  These people are incredibly socially liberal, they don’t share our values, and the  higher up and more powerful and elite the journalist, the more they don’t.  They don’t go to church, they may not even know someone who goes to church, they are pretty much all in favor of gay marriage and transgender and all that and they may not even know someone who isn’t.  They are hostile to the idea that men and women are different, they are hostile to Christianity and organized religion.  That really matters.  Just to give you an idea,  though its about politics, studies estimate that the media changes elections in the direction of Democrats by as much as 5%.  Without them, purple states would be red and red states would be Saudi  Arabia.  If they can have that kind of effect on politics, what kind of effect do you think they have on culture and people’s attitudes about life?

OK, let’s talk about Academics and Education.  That is super important in today’s world.  Getting a degree is your ticket to the good life and it gives you status.  We don’t think about it that way, but its true.  People are proud of their degrees, it’s a status thing.  So when we send our kids to college, who are we sending them too.  Well, these people are incredibly socially liberal, they don’t share our values, and the  higher up and more powerful and elite the academic or the professor, the more they don’t.  They don’t go to church, they may not even know someone who goes to church, they are pretty much all in favor of gay marriage and transgender and all that and they may not even know someone who isn’t.  They are hostile to the idea that men and women are different, they are hostile to Christianity and organized religion etc. etc.

Entertainment.  Hollywood, singers, all that.  Ditto.  Socially liberal, don’t share our values, all of that.  Even the occasional actor who comes out as conservative is still careful to be socially liberal.  To them, thinking like us is unthinkable.  They make sex and violence into entertainment, they teach that nothing really matters and right and wrong is just up to you, they teach that women are the same as men and/or are sex objects, they teach that life is just about finding yourself.  Obedience to God isn’t on the radar.  This is our entertainment.

Social media.  Its everywhere, and its designed to hack your brain.  Its designed to make you think you are having a real social experience when you are not.  There are valid uses for it, obviously.  But there are also reasons why some of the billionaires who created this stuff won’t let their kids use it.

So here they are, the rich and the influential and the famous, and they’re against us, and their influence is everywhere.  Look at the centers of power of our civilization, look at where all the decisions are made, go to New York or LA or DC, are they on our side?  We live in a world that is increasingly organized against us, even to the point of persecution, and where incessant propaganda fills every corner of our lives attacking what is sacred and precious to us.  Absolutely the Great and Spacious Building was for our day.

Now, I’m sure that the fact that I say it is enough, ol’ Brother G. is mighty smart and that’s good enough for you.  But in case you are one of those backwards types who listens to the prophets, and good for you,  let’s listen to the prophets.  This is from this Conference.  Brand spanking new.

Elder Anderson, one of the Apostles of the Lord, said this, let me get it out and read it to you.

We live on a planet clamoring with a million voices. The internet, our smartphones, our bloated boxes of entertainment all plead for our attention and thrust their influence upon us, hoping we will buy their products and adopt their standards.

The seemingly endless array of information and opinion remind us of the scriptural warnings of being “tossed to and fro,”¹⁰ “driven with the wind,”¹¹ and overcome by the “cunning craftiness” of those who “lie in wait to deceive.”¹²

Here’s President Oaks, he said our world is like a river with a very strong current, trying to sweep us away from where we are trying to go upstream.  He started off by talking about how most of that overwhelming river is made up of little stuff that maybe we think doesn’t matter.

Those “seemingly insignificant” private decisions include how we use our time, what we view on television and the internet, what we read, the art and music with which we surround ourselves at work and at home, what we seek for entertainment, and how we apply our commitment to be honest and truthful.

Then he said this

We are surrounded by media influences and cultural deteriorations that will carry us downstream in our values if we are not continually resisting. To move upstream toward our eternal goal, we must constantly keep paddling. It helps if we are part of a team that is paddling together, like a rowing crew in action. To extend that example even further, the cultural currents are so strong that if we ever stop paddling, we will be carried downstream toward a destination we do not seek but which becomes inevitable if we do not constantly try to move forward.

Did you hear that?  If we ever stop paddling, even for an instant, we will be swept away, our kids will be swept away, we’ll drown.

I don’t watch horror movies because I’m a big scaredy-cat with an overactive imagination.  But basically we live in a horror movie.  We are surrounded by monsters who want to swallow your soul.

At his point Bishop was getting really restless.  I was delivering a full-on stemwinder rant and because of the point I was trying to make later, wasn’t hiding it. I think I even let myself pound the pulpit a time or two just because it was hilarious.  My wife told me later he was looking very nervous as the talk went on, and I told her I already knew, I could hear him fidgeting behind me.  It was making me laugh.  The audience, on the other hand, was in to it.   Especially because they were expecting a talk on family councils and instead they’d gotten . . . this.

The thing is, most horror movies rely on people doing stupid stuff.  If it were real life, if the monsters were real, we’d cope.

I then cut out some stuff I was going to use about John C. Wright’s  Peter Power Armor, not in the interests of time but just because my eyes missed it on my notes.

Let me go back to those Anderson and Oaks quotes I read and finish them up.  Elder Anderson, right after telling us about the threat, he said what the solution was.  It’s nothing extraordinary.  It’s just following the prophet.  He said

Following the prophet in a world of commotion is like being wrapped in a soothing, warm blanket on a freezing cold day.

That’s a vivid image.   Now go back to what Elder Oaks said.  It’s a strong current we’re fighting against.  Well, he said, its easier if you have people paddling the same way as you.  Look around you.  You do.

The thing is, the LDS home is a powerful thing.  It may sometimes feel like a fortress where we are holed up, surrounded by the world.  But if so, it’s the kind of fortress that is a base we use to launch strikes deep into enemy territory.  You are amazing people.  You are stronger than you know.

Protecting my family against the world is something I brood about a lot.  It seems overwhelming.  How can I possibly win?  I will not give up, even for a moment, because losing my kids is unacceptable.  But its overwhelming. It’s me against everyone who matters in the world.  I got choked up here.  I was proud of myself that I had kept my composure so far, but here I crumbled a bit.

So I went to Conference brooding about this.  How am I going to protect my kids against overwhelming odds?  How can I do the impossible? Then one of the brethren gave a talk about being a Dad and the Spirit whispered to listen up, this talk was my answer.  I did.  So what did he talk about?  He talked about having silly games at FHE.  He talked about praying for your kids and telling them you love them.

It’s that easy.

Imagine it like this.  Its like in a movie.  You are in your castle surrounded by your enemies.  Tomorrow is the Last Battle.  Maybe imagine a battle from Lord of the Rings.  The thing is, there’s no one the castle but you.  You’ve got your wife and your kids and that’s it.  And the enemies around you, they’re orcs or monsters and you can’t even count them, you can’t even see all of them they stretch so far out, there are millions of them, and its just you.  In the early hours, it’s the very early morning, you are getting on your armor and getting your sword and you are praying.  You have no idea what to do.  Because charging out and dying heroically in some kind of big last stand is not acceptable.  This is not a drama, this is real.  You have to win.  You have to fight and fight and fight and live and fight and fight and fight, you have to win, but there are millions of them, and its just you.  So you’re praying.  And God says, well, say family prayers with real intent.  OK.  And He says, read some scriptures.  OK.  And then have some family councils and family games and those little jokes that families have and mess around with your wife and kids.  OK, you say, but what then?  That’s basically it, God says.  Do that, you win.

Which is hysterically, hilariously easy.  It makes you want to laugh.  Imagine that Last Battle, all the nasty orcs spreading out to the horizon, and up there at dawn on the castle walls is Brother G. half-dressed in his armor, capering around, dancing around with glee, laughing his fool head off.

We should all be laughing our fool heads off.

It’s that easy.

Prayers and scriptures and family time may sometimes seem like a burden if we just think about it in abstract.  But if we think about how we are up against the world in all its power and this is all we have to do to win, then it looks ridiculously easy.  Then it makes you want to caper and laugh.  That’s it?  That’s all I got to do?  It’s the biggest scam in the history of the world!

Now let me finish up with some practical advice.  Its one of the things I love about this Church, Brigham Young opening up a vision of the eternities in a sermon and then giving planting advice.  I’m no Brigham Young, I don’t have the wives or the manly beard, but let me still try to give you some practical advice about family council.

First, for the youth and the kids.  Family council isn’t something your parents are making you do.  Family council is something the prophets have asked YOU to do to help your family.  Its your job to make it work.

Parents, some advice, always back each other in council.  If an issue is sensitive between you, don’t bring it up.  Its ok to bring up different points when you are  just discussing things, but never get crosswise with each other.

Remember its not like in the farm days any more, the things you are telling your kids to do aren’t as immediately obvious about why they need to be done as bringing the crops in.  Family council is a good way for everyone to understand why your family does what it does.  You don’t want your kids to think of your family’s entertainment rules as just one of Dad and Mom’s things.

Dads, you are in charge, so be in charge.  Keep things moving, run the council, if no one is in charge its just going to dither away.

One of the points about family councils is teaching kids how to have councils, which they will use later in life at home and in the church.  Stop and explain how it works and why you are doing what you do if you need to.

There’s a great talk from Elder Ballard, April 2016 Conference, Saturday afternoon.  Read it and pray about it.

Do the little things, the big things will follow.  God cares as much about you and your family as you do.  He will give you the tools.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.