You may have heard about the dust-up at BYU recently. I don’t claim to know all or even most of the details of what happened. But every time I hear something like this I wonder: What am I supposed to be doing when it comes to the LGBT issues and individuals?

To begin with, I am obviously completely on board with the First Presidencies statement on the issue:

The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility—even when we disagree. We affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same-sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully.

I understand the general principle, it’s when I start thinking about the specifics, that things become less clear. Or maybe they seem clear to me, but other people seem to be equally clear, but have the exact opposite opinion. So, I want to make sure I’m not missing something. Some examples:

Marching in the Gay Pride parade: This seems like an obvious “no”, but there are groups of members who are (or at least claim to be) completely obedient in other respects, but who feel that this is not only permissible, but critical.

Attending a same sex marriage: Another “no”, similar to above, this seems to move from not treating SSM disrespectfully to tacitly supporting it. And I know many of the sisters I talk to are horrified by the idea of missing their kid’s wedding just because it was a same sex. But it would sure seem to send a mixed message about our stand on the appropriateness of the event if we’re in attendance.

Allowing a same sex couple to share a bed in your house: Again no, but I’m not sure if it’s the least obvious no or the most obvious. I incline towards the latter, but I’ve had many people tell me that in this day and age I’m hopelessly behind the times.

Working hard to hold the line separating love and kindness from tolerance and acceptance: This one’s a yes, and my sense is that this is what the people posting the flyer were doing. And as I said I don’t know all the details, but it’s hard to see where reminding people of the words of the scriptures and the prophet could be a bad thing, but for some people it obviously was.

What have I missed? (A lot I’m sure.) Are any of my answers wrong? Is there a simple rubric I can use in these situations? One assumes that doing what the brethren do is pretty safe. Anything else?