I still recall a dream on the eve of my conversion (this would probably be in 2008) in which I saw a globe being covered by darkness; with the darkness being added like black pieces of jigsaw to cover the nations and oceans.
(I knew what was implied by this darkness from my own life and work.)
I saw that Good and evil are sides in a war. And I realized that I had to choose one side or the other: either that Life which was valuable, or incrementally-expanding darkness and spiritual-death.
At last I recognized that the we either take the side of Good – or else we are evil.
And I knew that I personally wanted to take the side of Good.
But you will want to click through for the bulk of his essay, where he comes up with an interesting and plausible rationale for dispensations.

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