In a recent Sacrament meeting, a speaker cut his talk short and explained he was experiencing a health event and needed to sit down. He did so and continued to look a bit fragile and tentative.
That and the dynamics that I then observed had me concerned.
Some discussion with the man occurred between him and those
on the stand. A member of the Bishopric left the stand and consulted with a
health professional in the audience. He then went into the foyer and accessed
something on his phone. I wondered if he was summoning an ambulance.
The man’s wife joined him on the stand, looking concerned. After
the meeting was over, he was escorted off the stand into a side room down the
hall with more members who I know to be health professionals present as well as
others. I speculated he might be waiting for an ambulance and/or getting a priesthood
blessing.
Another friend approached me later in the foyer asking if I
knew what had happened with this man. He had served in leadership capacities
with the man in question and was a good friend of his. He was anxious for news
and wanted to know what I knew. I knew nothing at that time. I spotted a
counselor in the bishopric and pointed my friend in his direction suggesting
that he may know something. He left to inquire of him and they had an extended
conversation in the hall.
These are the highlights. Naturally, I was concerned. I have
known the man in question for over 25 years. He has been my local religious
leader, Home Teacher, and friend among other things.
After arriving home and still wondering what all this meant,
I contemplated what I could and should do. If it was an active health situation,
I felt contacting him or his family directly would be intrusive and distracting,
especially if they were still dealing with whatever it was. Plus, they are not
good texters and I do not hear well on the phone.
I decided to contact the health professional, also a friend, and simply ask if the man was okay or would be okay, then I could go from
there.
Brother X, Is Bro. Y okay, or going
to be? We’re concerned and wondering. Sister [My name]
I received back the following answer:
I cannot discuss medical details
with anyone without his permission. I suggest you call him and convey your
concerns/warm wishes
It was unsatisfactory on many levels.
- I did not ask for medical details.
- I asked a mutual friend if a mutual friend was okay.
- The incident of concern took place publicly in church not a medical environment.
- The health professional is retired.
If he is going to carry this viewpoint to its logical
extreme, he needs to carry around legal waivers in order to deal with incidents
like this that might come up.
His suggestion that I call the man gave me the information I
needed anyway. Our mutual friend was alive and would have access to and the
ability to use a phone. Armed with this information, I did text him and he
responded back with thanks and a detail or two that put our minds at rest.
I think this interaction is symptomatic of a bigger problem,
one I have been thinking about for some time.
The whole idea of privacy has been taken to a ridiculous
extreme and people are elevating their professions above their basic humanity.
The Right to Privacy is Being Carried to Extremes
I have got news for you folks. The Constitutional right to
privacy did not exist until 1965 when the Supreme Court decided Griswold v.
Connecticut. The intent was to protect privacy in the marriage relationship
from governmental intrusion.
My, how things have changed.
Now, privacy is being used as a reason to withhold information
from anyone for any reason regardless of the topic or context.
It is nearly impossible to find out anything about anyone
because people are always invoking the notion of privacy. It is being used as a
reason to deny information and feel justified and even noble in doing so.
What Happened to Basic Humanity?
When I was in library school, I was taught that the
relationship between a librarian and a patron was sacrosanct. I should never divulge
what information someone accessed. We were told to never divulge to law
enforcement, for example, what materials someone had checked out, even if they
had a warrant.
This was used as a rationale to destroy circulation records
so that law enforcement or any governmental agent or entity could never get a
hold of them. Some libraries and librarians do this.
We were told that we were guardians of free speech and
uniquely qualified to protect it. For this reason, we needed to acquire what
most would consider pornography to ensure it was available, otherwise, democracy
was in jeopardy.
I did not buy any of this nonsense. Most did, though,
including Latter-day Saint members.
We were told that we should never interfere, judge, or
evaluate why someone might need or want information. This included a depressed
person who wanted to check out a book or seek information on how to commit suicide.
We should simply provide it and let the chips fall where they may.
Not me.
I am a human being first, a child of God, a moral being, etc.
Librarian is way down the list. I am not going to stand by and let someone kill
themselves if I can do something to help them.
Soon after I was taught all this an incident occurred at a
local public library. A patron had sent a friend a suicide note via a library
computer terminal. The friend reached out to law enforcement who worked with the
local librarians to identify the patron and get them help before they went
through with their suicide plans.
It was gratifying to read this. The actions of these local
librarians did not comport with what I was being taught in library school. I
decided the viewpoint probably was not universal, in the library world at
least.
However, I have still seen evidence that this distorted philosophy
affects other professions as well.
Let us not carry our professions too far and into our
personal relationships. We are people, after all, not our professions.
Let us not turn basic human interactions into legal
incidents.
How Does This Affect the Church?
Information used to flow pretty freely. We knew about what
other people were dealing with like illnesses, unemployment, or other
challenges. Now, it is almost impossible to hear anything about anyone.
Great, everyone’s personal privacy is protected. The
downside is that almost no one has any information about anyone making it
almost impossible to serve them.
How are you supposed to bear one another’s burdens if you do
not know what they are?
I am not suggesting everyone’s problems and challenges be
trumpeted everywhere just that some basic information could be shared.
For example, my husband had a major heart incident recently.
Every night when I got home from the hospital, I sent out a simple update on
what we knew and what had happened that day. I sent it out to family, local
church leaders, and friends, in that order, primarily via text.
My criteria were simply those in authority over us and those
with a close connection to us. Some of the responses were interesting.
For example, one local church leader tentatively asked if it
was okay if they apprised another local church leader of what I had conveyed. I
told them I already had.
This cut out gossip entirely. Everyone got their information
from me. It was good information. We were assisted in our needs because people
knew what they were. Everyone knew what was going on.
Church leaders do deal with many issues that have serious
privacy implications. They also deal with many issues that do not.
As an ordinary member, I am frustrated that I cannot serve
people or service their needs because I cannot get any information on what they
are.
If leaders cannot share any information, let alone details,
they are going to have to address these needs themselves and not expect
assistance from the rest of us.
I am frustrated because I have got some very high-level
skills. Most of the time people that need my help do not even know that help is
out there let alone that I can help them. How am I supposed to connect with
these people if there is such a tight lid on information?
Isn’t Satan at the Core of This?
I think Satan is at the core of this. The threat of a
lawsuit is governing everything we do. Are we allowing him to tie the Church and
its members up in knots? I think we are.
Obviously, we need to be prudent, but we need to ask
ourselves if we are overshooting the mark.
Remember, I asked a mutual friend if a mutual friend was “okay”
based on what happened publicly at church. I did not probe for “medical
details.”
We should not be using legal liability or privacy as an
excuse to subvert our responsibilities to our fellow human beings. These human
beings are hurting. They need help. They need help from us.
Can you imagine any of the subjects of Jesus’s parables or
miracles suing him in court over violating their privacy? In this day and age,
I can, actually. However, it would not stop me from helping people or
soliciting others in my attempts to assist them in their needs.
Conclusion
If church leaders are the guardians of all information, I
suspect this will increase their responsibilities exponentially.
Instead of my being able to assist people with whatever
their needs are, a church leader will have to correspond with individuals and then
privately and confidentially ask me for my assistance. I will then have to
convey it through the church leader who will then convey it to the
individual(s).
I have already experienced this. I did ultimately find out
that the information I supplied to a local church leader in one instance was
going to a personal friend. It would have been better if I could have assisted
this personal friend directly. So much got lost in siphoning everything through
the church leader. I wondered why the personal friend had not queried me first.
I’m not hostile to the concept of privacy. I’m just
concerned it is being taken to a ridiculous extreme.
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