I admire Arthur C. Brooks. I do. I read him whenever I can. So much of what he says is codified in the gospel of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A recent article of his is no exception:

He notes that old people score high on happiness, contentment, etc., and low on things like depression, neuroticism, etc. He suggests they've mastered three important things. 

I want instead to call your attention to certain patterns of behavior that are not so obvious but that help explain why old people tend to be happier than young adults. The sooner you can learn and adopt these rules for good living, the sooner you can enjoy their fruits. 

He develops these ideas and then summarizes them. The quotes below are from the summary:

So what follows are three general rules I learned from older people that lead to higher well-being.

1. Go deep or go home

1. Go deep or go home.
I try to ensure that my social relationships—those that are voluntary and involve discretionary time—focus only on facets of life that matter: love, faith, philosophy, virtue, culture, aesthetics. I don’t want to talk about my beach vacation, or yours, unless a major epiphany occurred as the tide came in.

My husband is substantially older than me. Until I read Brooks' article, I was a little disturbed by some of his behaviors. Now, I think he's way ahead of me.

My husband has always suggested that I stop attempting to widen my friend network by trying to cultivate relationships with a wide variety of people. He says most people are just acquaintances and don't merit anything more than common courtesy. He's friendly but superficial. He has only a small number of true friends that he interacts with on a deep level.

I remember Mr. Rogers endorsing "slow and deep," not fast and weak. To maximize happiness, our relationships should be meaningful.

2. Serve more

2. Serve more.
A unique channel of well-being is serving others in causes I care about. This can mean giving money and time, of course. But it also entails regularly subjecting my work to a “values test”: Does each activity primarily edify and uplift others?

Service is hard work. We're deluding ourselves if we think it is easy. If we think it is easy, it might be the simple service I've characterized before as being superficial and safe.

I often stress over trying to extend service, especially when I tend to get rebuffed. My husband tries to serve, but if he can't, he just shrugs it off and goes on. No stress there.

3. Care less

3. Care less.
I think back to the things that kept me awake as a younger man—this conflict at work, that worry about money—and shake my head. Now when something is bothering me or threatens to stress me out, I ask myself whether the issue is likely to be bothering me in a week’s time. If the answer is no, I try to get a head start right then on not caring.

If anything characterizes my husband, this does. I don't know how many concerns and stressors I've shared with him, only to have him declare from the depths of his recliner in an unusually loud voice, "DON'T KNOW, DON'T CARE!" as he goes back to his favorite activities.

I care, maybe I care too much. It's not good for my health. I now believe my husband's approach is healthier, especially when I work myself up into a hissy fit over something or other. Little interrupts his equilibrium. I used to think he was just being selfish. Now, I don't think so.

Conclusion

Concentrating on deep relationships, serving more, not letting things we have no control over stress us. Sounds like a winning formula to me ...