My Youthful Reflection

When I was young, I preferred interacting with, and being interviewed by, male church leaders rather than female leaders. There are a number of reasons for this.

First, I trusted men more than I did women. I found men to be more trustworthy. Their positions as designated church leaders gave me confidence that I would be treated in a Christlike manner.

Second, I felt men were more likely to keep confidences. Women gossiped and shared information. If you told a man something, it didn't seem likely to be spread around the ward. If you told a woman, it tended to be.

Third, I felt women were shallow. I often got cliches and platitudes from women. When I talked with men, I tended to get a more thoughtful, reflective response.

Fourth, I felt loved by my male church leaders. I felt like they really cared about me, even if they couldn't do anything for me. I felt like they desperately wanted to, but they just didn't know what to do for me. I genuinely felt their concern for me, much more so than I did from the women leaders.

The Current Controversy

I know that some local church leaders have taken advantage of people under their care. However, I don't believe it is as big a problem as our critics do, and certainly not the problem some women think.

I don't object to young women taking a trusted parent or companion in with them to meet privately with local church leaders. I just wouldn't do it.

Also, these proponents don't seem to see the problems it might exacerbate or create.

If a young women takes her mother in with her to a Bishop's interview, it could complicate things. The mother may be the source of the young women's problems. The mother may be controlling her and abusing her in a variety of ways, such as emotionally, mentally, and verbally.

If this is the case, a Bishop would not be able to speak candidly with the young woman to unearth this.

There is probably a lot of things a young woman wouldn't want to admit to, or discuss with, a leader if her mother were in the room.

This could all render the Bishop's interview farcical.

Having a female companion or parent could indeed make some women, especially young women, feel comfortable meeting one-on-one with a male church leader. I'm just not one of them. I suspect there are other women who feel as I do.

Conclusion

I applaud the Church's decision to allow someone to have a companion with them in a confidential interview if they choose.

However, we shouldn't be so naive as to think it can't cause some problems in addition to solving some others.