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| This is what Greg looked like when we got married. |
No, we didn't waste time. Why should we? Should we have waited until we were older and more mature? I don't think so.
Actually, we either needed to get married right then or wait a year until I'd completed another school year commitment.
Something Just Clicked
From the instant we exchanged our first email something just clicked. He quickly became my number one confidant.
For example, I was dealing with a sticky situation at work. My first thought was, "I need to talk to Greg about this." Startled, I asked myself why. At this time, Greg was a voice on the phone nothing more.
I hadn't thought to contact my mentor, a colleague, a friend or anyone else. My first thought was Greg.
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| Greg in 2000. |
I instantly recognized something in him that caused me to conclude, rightly, that his intelligence and skill in solving problems was something I needed to rely on and could rely on.
I'm glad I did and I'm glad I continued to do it. Now that he is gone, I'm painfully aware of all the things he did and all the problems he solved. I have to do them all now and it's taking up a considerable amount of time.
Our First Days Together
Right after we got married and were working the initial things out, it became apparent to me that he expected to do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry.
Incredulous, I looked at him and said, "If you do all of that, what am I going to do?"
His response? Well, anything my little heart desired. What a guy. I insisted on doing most of the typical female work, especially since I was home most of the time.
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| 1949, Just getting a drink as a kid. |
This didn't entirely solve things between us. He was constantly begging to be allowed to do a variety of what I considered my housework.
How many women out there had/have this "problem" with their husbands?
What Greg Wanted in Return
Greg wanted what all men should have, a true companion, especially one they can trust.
Greg expected me to be like his other women. He was so astonished and grateful that he could trust me in everything. His relief was obvious and he relaxed considerably once he realized this.
We essentially had a 24/7 life together. I accompanied him on nearly all his business trips regardless of how far away they were or how much time was involved.
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| Greg in his office at work. |
There was usually a place he could stash me, a waiting room, a cafeteria, etc. Sometimes they found me a hard-hat and I tagged along and sometimes I waited in the car, for hours on occasion.
We rarely did anything on our own time without each other. He would sometimes have to go give priesthood blessings and occasionally I went to a Relief Society event. That didn't mean we weren't together though. He often transported me and waited in the foyer for me.
I didn't want to be without him. He didn't want to be without me. We were together in our 22 years more than most couples are when they've been married for 50 or more.
This is why our forced separation now is so difficult.
Unusual Examples of His Thoughtfulness/Kindness
When we got married, Greg had a cassette tape of a nutritionist's talk. It was entitled, "Why Women Need Chocolate."
He was a believer! If I told him I needed chocolate, he treated it as a medical emergency.
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| Right after we got our Weimaraner puppies. |
He always split things 50/50 or else gave me a little more or a little better. Naturally, I put on considerable weight (that I am now losing.) I told him I was quite literally "fed up" with his idea of equality.
He was incredibly generous. He bought me everything I needed and was willing to buy me anything I wanted. He was never stingy, even if this meant skipping himself. He just didn't want much for himself. He wanted to make me happy.
His other women took advantage of his generosity for their own selfishness. I didn't. He was so grateful I didn't spend him into oblivion. He was actually astonished at how much I didn't spend.
Even at the End, He Put Me First
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| Greg in his later years. |
He always put me first, this was most evident at the end of his life. Everything he did in his last months was geared toward me, he was that selfless and thoughtful.
He died less than a month after we moved to Fort Wayne. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for him.
We moved because he wanted me to be in a better place if I had to be without him, one that had everything I would need access too.
The car we bought a short time before he died was specifically intended to serve my needs when I was without him.
After arriving in Fort Wayne, he researched shower nozzles, bought and installed one that I preferred.
When it was evident that outside light was making it hard for me to sleep, he researched curtain rods that would fit over the blinds in my bedroom window, bought and installed them along with our room darkening curtains.
It was from listening to other women that I fully realized what a treasure Greg was. Their complaints made me realize this.
I never had the problems they commiserated over. So, I finally started bragging about him. On a trip to the Winter Quarters Temple, I remember one of the guys protesting, "Greg, you're making us look bad!"
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| Greg at Christmas in 2008. |
Perhaps my story of Greg and laundry will prove how conscientious he was and how much I never had to put up with these little irritants.
Our clothes hamper had three compartments. One for his coloreds, one for mine and one for our whites.
Whenever I sorted laundry to place in the washer I generally resorted everything into the three compartments as well as a few piles on the floor.
This organization served my purposes while I was doing the laundry. After I got everything done, it was business as usual for the clothes hamper.
Unfortunately, it confused Greg. On three different occasions after viewing my piles he tracked me down and asked me if I wanted him to put his laundry in different places. He didn't know what all the different piles meant and wanted to make certain he put things in the proper places.
The first two times I assured him that nothing had changed and my former instructions still held.
A bit incredulous the third time this happened when he asserted, "Krista, you're confusing me!", I looked at him, assured him that nothing had changed and added, "I'm not sending you covert messages through the laundry."
He looked startled and knocked a bit off balance. He then laughed and we had no further incidents.
I don't exaggerate for comedic effect, to emphasize points or for any other reason. I'm not exaggerating Greg's good qualities.
He had some faults but nothing that was very large, irritating or something he wasn't working to correct.
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| Am I really this unobservant and out of it? Greg found this flower sticker and stuck it on his forehead, just to see if I would notice. Well, he wore it for hours. Finally, he decided he had to get more obvious. He stood right in front of me and finally I saw it. I felt foolish. |
Marriage to this wonderful man really was heaven on earth!
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